Free Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 09 by Stop in the Name of Pants! Page A

and get your coats and handbags, you and your sisters are leaving.”
    three minutes later
    There was a bit of argie bargey from the Blunderboys. One of them said to Dave, “Who’s gonna make me leave?”
    And Dave went and stood over him and said, “I am.”
    And the Blunderboys said, “Oh, OK, well, I was just asking mate.”
    And there was some shoving past people and spitting from the Blunderboys as they went off to the door. Declan and Tom and Dave did a gentle bit of frog marching Mark through the door. And there was a lot of shouting and kicking of cars once the Blunderers were safely out in the street.
    Unfortunately the venue owners had called the police, so that is when we heard the police sirens.
    Sven said, “Now that is how to have the good Viking night.”
    Dave the Laugh found me. He was holding his hand as if he had hurt it. He smiled at me and said, “Are you OK, Miss Kittykat?”
    I said, “Oh, Dave, thank goodness you came. What has happened to your hand?”
    He said, “One of the hard lads bit me—I may never play the tambourine again.”
    It was luuurvely to see him. And I felt really odd that he was hurt. I wanted to stroke his hand, in fact maybe I should. I may have healing hands—I was just thinking about doing it when I heard a voice say, “Dave, Dave, are you alright??? Oh God, your hand!! You poor thing, let me help you.”
    And it was Emma dashing about like Florrie whatsit, Nightingale.
    Dave looked at me and gave a sort of rueful smile. He said, “Too many trousers spoil the broth,” and got up and did pretendy limping off with Ellen.
    His girlfriend.
    twenty minutes later
    We were all turfed out. The police gave us a warning and asked us if we wanted to dob anyone in. I wouldn’t have minded seeing the Blunderboys behind bars, preferably in a zoo. However as Sven had in a way started the proceedings, we just mumbled a bit about things getting out of hand. Sorry, Officers, etc. And tried to shuffle off home.
    I saw Jas and Tom were talking together in the dark over by a bench. Oh Good Lord, I would bedoing goosegog all the way home now if they made up.
    I was trying to think of something to say that would make her get in her huffmobile with Tom. Or perhaps I should just go and stand between them in a friendly way and not go away. Take my goosegog duties seriously.
    thirty seconds later
    A policeman came by me and said, “Stop ligging about here. Clear off home now and don’t cause any more trouble.”
    That’s nice, isn’t it? No words of comfort. No, “Now don’t you worry, young lady, the nasty boys won’t be bothering you anymore. Here’s five pounds for a cab home to see you safely on your way.”
    In fact as he looked at me I sort of recognized him. Uh-oh, he was the one who had brought Angus home in a bag one night after he had eaten Next Door’s hamster. Unfortunately Angus didn’t like the bag and had attacked the policeman’s trousers.
    Then he recognized me: “Oh, it’s you. I might have known. How’s your ‘pet’? Hopefully gone to that big cat basket in the sky.”
    I said with dignitosity at all times, “Thank you for your kind inquiry, Officer. I must go home now. Mind how you go and remember, it’s a jungle out there. Be safe.”
    Do you see, do you see what I did? I pretended I was a policeman to a policeman!!!
    But I was walking quickly away from him as I said it and calling to Jas, “Jas, we have to go now, the nice officer of the law said so.”
    Jas came over smartish. She is terrified of policemen and is like the bum-oley licking expert around them. She said to the officer, “Thank you so much, Officer, you do a wonderful job.”
    Oh, pleeeeease.
    Then she waved back at Tom. He blew her a kiss and she sighed.
    Good grief.
    Can’t they stay split up for more than half a day? It’s