Free Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 09 by Stop in the Name of Pants!

went.
    Stamp stamp to the left.
    Left leg kick, kick.
    Arm up.
    Stab stab to the left (that is the pillaging bit).
    Stamp, stamp to the right.
    Right leg kick, kick.
    Arm up.
    Stab stab to the right.
    Quick twirl around with both hands raised to Thor (whatever).
    Raise your (pretend) drinking horn to the left.
    Drinking horn to the right.
    Horn to the sky.
    All over body shake.
    Huddly duddly.
    And fall to knees with a triumphant shout of:
    HORRRRNNNNN!!!!
    It was a triumph, darling, a triumph.
    Even Ellen managed not to stab anyone in the eye.
    The crowd went berkerama!!! Leaping and yelling.
    They were yelling, “More, more!!!”
    Sven said over the mike, “Okay, you groovster peeps, this time is your turn!! Let’s go do the Viking bison disco inferno dance,” and he put “Jingle Bells” back on and we started again.
    Everyone joined in with us. The whole room did stab stab to the right, and even the huddly duddly and fall to the knees bit. It was marvy seeing everyone down on their knees yelling, “HORRRRNNN.” And people say that teenagersof today do nothing for people.
    I’m a star, I’m a star!!!
    I shouted to Jas above the noise, “I want Smarties in our dressing room, I want a limo for my mittens—I want EVERYTHING!!!”
    And then it was time for the pièce de whatsit, the Viking disco hornpipe extravaganza. We put on our earmuffs and mittens and picked up our paddles. Then we got into position with our backs to the crowd and when they had quieted down we waited for our musical cue. As the dub version of EastEnders sounded out from the decks we raised our paddles proudly. The music was going:
    â€œNa na na-na naaaa na-na na-na na na nana nananananana duff duff duff nanananaaaaa-nana—”
    We turned round to face our audience and as we did so, the doors flew open and Mark Big Gob and the Blunderboys walked in ready to rumble, or probably more likely, ready to rhumba in their case. Oh, brilliant.
    Still, what did we care, we would get our bodyguards and gurkas to toss them aside like paper towels from the paper towel dispenser in the loos. They could go down the piddly diddly hole of life!!!
    We did the dance with gusto and also vim. And everyone applauded and went crazeeee again at the end. They were yelling, “Land ahoy, land ahoyyyy!!!!”
    God, I was hot. I said to Rosie, “I can’t do it again without some drink. Send one of our runners for drinks.”
    Rosie said, “Righty ho.”
    She came back a second later and said, “Who are our runners?”
    And Jas said, “We haven’t got any, she has just gone temporarily insane.”
    But she said it in a smiley way.
    one minute later
    We did the dance again and everyone went mad AGAIN!!! This was the life. Even though Ellen had caught me a glancing blow with her paddle.
    Then the Blunderboys started shouting wubbish in their dim way.
    We just ignored them and were coming down from the stage when Mark Big Gob yelled out, “Oy, you, the big tart in the middle, give us a flash of your nungas.”
    He was shouting at Rosie.
    Sven took off the record he was playing and stood up.
    There was silence.
    He took off his fur cape and adjusted his horns.
    Oh dear God.
    Sven slowly stepped down. His flares lit up and he walked toward the group of Blunderboys. Everyone else was backing off. People were saying, “Calm down, calm down, leave it out, lads.”
    Well, apart from Rosie. She was behind Sven, saying, “Go on, big boy, tear their little heads off.”
    two minutes later
    Now Sven is big, but there were about eight of the Blunderers facing up to him. I was a bit frightened, actually.
    But then it was just like a Western because the doors opened again and in came Tom and Declan and Edward and Dom and Rollo and a load of their mates and last but not least Dave the Laugh.
    Dave the Laugh looked at what was going on and then said to Mark Big Gob, “Mark, go