Free Dr. Carbles Is Losing His Marbles! by Dan Gutman Page A

you bring a turkey to school?”
    â€œTo marry it,” somebody said.
    That’s when Gobbles went berserk. She crashed into Dr. Carbles and knocked him down!
    â€œThat’s it, Klutz!” Dr. Carbles yelled. “You’re FIRED!”

3
Meet the New Boss
    What?! Mr. Klutz was fired ? It couldn’t be true! We were all shocked.
    I thought it was one of those times when something really horrible happens and then it turns out just to be a dream. I saw that in a movie once.
    But the next morning while we were putting our backpacks away, everybodywas talking about what happened.
    â€œDr. Carbles can’t fire Mr. Klutz!” said Michael.
    â€œWell, he did ,” said Ryan.
    â€œBut Mr. Klutz is the best principal in the world!” said Neil the nude kid.
    Neil was right. Everybody loved Mr. Klutz. I was sad. Some kids were crying. Teachers were hugging each other in the hallway and dabbing their eyes with tissues. It was like Mr. Klutz had died.
    After we pledged the allegiance, our teacher, Miss Daisy, said we should remember the good times we had with Mr. Klutz.
    â€œRemember when he got his foot caught at the top of the flagpole and was hanging upside down?” said Ryan.
    â€œRemember when he dressed like Santa in the holiday pageant, and he was hanging upside down from his sleigh?” said Michael.
    â€œOnce I got called to his office, and he was hanging upside downfrom the ceiling,” I told everybody.

    â€œMr. Klutz sure hangs upside down a lot,” said Emily, who is a big crybaby.
    It was hard to concentrate on reading and math that morning. We were all thinking about the good old days with Mr. Klutz. When it was time to go to the vomitorium for lunch, we were still talking about him.
    â€œThey’ll have to get us a new principal,” said Andrea, who was sitting with her annoying girl friends at the next table.
    â€œWho do you think it will be?” asked Ryan.
    â€œI hope he’s nice,” said Emily, who always hopes everybody will be nice.
    â€œHow do you know it will be a he ?” saidAndrea. “Maybe the principal will be a lady.”
    â€œMaybe one of the teachers will become principal,” Michael said. “Like Mr. Docker or Ms. Hannah.”
    â€œBeing principal is an important job,” said Neil the nude kid. “There’s lots to do, like yell at kids and boss around teachers.”
    â€œAnd dress up in weird costumes and marry turkeys,” I added.
    â€œIt will be hard to find someone who can fill Mr. Klutz’s shoes,” said Andrea.
    â€œWho cares about filling his shoes?” I said. “We just need a new principal. What would they fill his shoes with anyway?”
    â€œIt’s just an expression, dumbhead,”Andrea said.
    â€œSo is your face,” I told her.
    We didn’t have to wait long to find out who the new principal would be. At the end of the day, we had to go to the all-purpose room again. Once everybody was seated, a lady got up onstage. She told us her name was Mrs. Haney and she was the superintendent of all the schools in the county.
    Wow! And we thought Dr. Carbles was important. If Dr. Carbles is like the king of the world, then Mrs. Haney is like the queen of the universe .
    â€œI bet she can fly and see through walls,” I whispered to Michael. “That’swhy she’s Super Intendent.”

    Mrs. Haney said she knew we were sad about Mr. Klutz and told us not to worry. Nothing would change now that he was gone.
    â€œI’d like to introduce you to your new principal,” she announced.
    And you’ll never believe in a millionhundred years who walked out on the stage.
    I’m not going to tell you.
    Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. And you don’t even have to read the next chapter.
    It was Dr. Carbles!

4
Dr. Carbles Is a Meanie
    DR. CARBLES?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
    I always thought you had to go to principal school to be a