Free The Mystery of Mercy Close by Marian Keyes Page B

under general anaesthetic while having liposuction.
    Next thing, she flicked her riding crop in the direction of the dogs and they whimpered and cowered away from her.
    I don’t like dogs. In point of fact, I hate dogs. But even I thought that was a bit much.
    John Joseph looked embarrassed. ‘Leave the dogs alone, baby.’
    She crouched down and said in crooning tones, ‘I’m sorry, doggies.’ She nuzzled and stroked them and they slobbered all over her in loving gratitude. Eejits.
    ‘Is it not strange,’ she said, ‘that a little cruelty makes them love me all the more?’
    She smiled, looking young and mischievous, and to my great surprise (category: pleasant), I found that I liked her.
    ‘Come and talk to Helen,’ John Joseph said. ‘She’s here to help us find Wayne.’
    ‘Okay.’ She came and sat beside me and actually took my hand. Earnestly, she said, ‘Please. You must find him. Wayne is a good man.’
    ‘No one’s saying he isn’t,’ Jay said defensively.
    ‘You do. You say he is weak.’
    ‘I didn’t say weak. I said he had no willpower.’
    ‘You think Frankie Delapp does not eat Jammie Dodgers late at night?’ Zeezah was scornful. ‘You think Roger St Leger is not drinking beer?’
    ‘He’s not drinking beer. He’s drinking vodka and he’s allowed to drink vodka because it’s low in carbs.’
    Again with the carbs.
    ‘Zeezah, would someone want to harm Wayne?’
    ‘Wayne is a good man.’
    ‘Have you any idea where he might be?’
    ‘No.’ She sighed and let go of my hand. ‘But give me your number and I will call you if I think of anything.’
    ‘Sure.’ I scrambled for my card. When I’d woken up this horrible morning who could have guessed that I would end the day giving my phone number to a superstar, even if she was only big in the Middle East?
    ‘And if I need to contact you …?’ I said delicately. ‘Will I go through John Joseph?’
    She became very stern. ‘I am my own person, with my own phone. I am texting you my number this exact very moment.’
    ‘Good, cool … yeah.’
Wait
till I told Mum that I had Zeezah’s number. Just
wait
. No, maybe not; she might steal the number and start sending Zeezah hate-texts. ‘Okay, can I ask all three of you to let your imaginations go wild for a moment and give me a one-liner as to where Wayne might be. Be as out-there as you like. Sort of like a game. I’ll start. I think Wayne is … doing a bread-making course in Ballymaloe House.’
    ‘Bread!’ Jay yelped.
    ‘Sushi, if you prefer. John Joseph?’
    ‘I think Wayne is … in a clinic having liposuction on his stomach.’
    ‘Really?’ Jay lit up. ‘Will it have healed by Wednesday night?’
    ‘This is just a game,’ Zeezah said. ‘I think Wayne is … visiting his parents and getting some TLC.’
    ‘I think Wayne is …’ Jay said, ‘in that Buddhist place in West Cork, learning to meditate.’ Oh! Such bile! ‘No, I’ve changed my mind. He’s at a pie-eating contest in North Tipperary, where he’s blowing all of the competition out of the water. He’s a shoo-in for the nationals.’
    ‘Zeezah,’ I asked, ‘do you know Wayne’s friend Gloria?’
    ‘Gloria?’ I swear to God, her face sort of froze. Just for the briefest moment, but I saw it. ‘Who’s Gloria?’
    I said nothing. I waited for her to fill the silence.
    She shook her head. ‘I don’t know this Gloria.’
    Maybe she didn’t. Maybe I was imagining things. After all, I wasn’t really myself.
    ‘Zeezah, the most important question of all: any idea what Wayne’s computer password might be? Six letters.’
    As she considered, her eyes were faraway and her forehead was very smooth. Surely Jay hadn’t made her have Botox too? She was only twenty-one. Or perhaps the unlined forehead was down to her youth.
    ‘Six letters?’ She was suddenly animated and my heart lifted. ‘I know!’ she declared. ‘How about Zeezah?’ She gave a playful chuckle and, in polite but