Free Shoulder the Sky by Lesley Choyce Page B

garden.”
    â€œRight,” I said and sipped my cappuccino. I couldn’t understand why she’d make something like that up. But then sisters like mine were hard to figure out. I decided to change the subject. “I think they fired Mr. Miller.”
    â€œHe was my favourite teacher in the school.”
    â€œHe lost it in class after Scott Rutledge got killed.”
    â€œWe should go see him.”
    â€œCan we do that?”
    â€œSure.”
    â€œAll right. I think Darrell should come with us.”
    â€œThe Egg Man?”
    â€œHe doesn’t get out of the house much.”

    We looked Mr. Miller up in the phone book and tried calling but didn’t get an answer. We picked up Darrell and went anyway. We rang and we knocked. No answer. But there was music coming from the house. Loud metal music. We waited for a lull between tunes and hammered hard on the door. It finally opened.
    The heavy metal mud wrestling math teacher was home alone. He had been drinking. “Let me turn down the music,” he said. “Come in.”
    Mr. Miller was wearing a T-shirt and sweat pants. He hadn’t shaved for a couple of days. The house smelled like beer. “We came over to say hi,” Lilly said.
    â€œThings are a bit of a mess,” he said apologetically, picking up some music and wrestling magazines from the sofa so we could sit down. The room looked like thieves or vandals had trashed it.
    â€œI’m sorry to hear they kicked you out of school,” Darrell blurted out.
    Mr. Miller rubbed his face. “Oh, that. I’ve always been a little too emotional, I guess. People expect that just because I’m big and play that macho image thing that I don’t hurt easily. But inside, I’m like china.” He started a zigzag trek around the room, picking up crushed beer cans. He had an armload of them and looked at us like he didn’t know what to do next, soLilly went into the kitchen and came out with a black garbage bag.
    â€œYou should recycle those,” Darrell offered up.
    â€œYeah, Darrell, I will. I promise.”
    â€œHow are you feeling?” Lilly asked Mr. Miller. I was kind of shocked that she was trying again to be helpful.
    â€œI’m working it out, I think. I liked Scott. I just hated seeing a kid get wasted like that for no reason.”
    â€œLife sucks,” Lilly said. It was a favoured motto of hers and Jake’s.
    â€œAnd then you freaking die,” Mr. Miller said, dumping his armload of crushed beer cans into the bag.
    â€œAre you going to appeal your dismissal?”
    â€œI don’t know. I haven’t figured that out yet. Maybe I should move on from teaching.”
    â€œNo way,” I said.
    â€œWhy? You think that it matters? You think it does any good? Kids like me because I’m a good entertainer. That’s me. Show biz. But that’s all.”
    Lilly pulled out a pack of gum, opened it, and flipped a piece into her mouth in that way she has of doing it. Then she offered a piece to Mr. Miller. He fumbled with the wrapper and put the gum in his mouth. “The year I had you for math, I have to say you were the only teacher I had who wasn’t ugly and ignorant.”
    â€œGee thanks.”

    â€œWhen my sister says that, she means that, Mr. Miller.”
    Then Darrell cleared his throat and broke our code of silence by telling Mr. Miller and Lilly about our discussion. “Martin and I both agreed we’d change places with Scott — retroactively speaking — even though he’s now dead and we’re still alive.”
    Mr. Miller looked startled. “That’s not good. In fact, it’s a little scary.”
    â€œI’m still seeing the shrink,” I said.
    â€œMy brother needs all the help he can get,” my sister said.
    â€œAnd I’m working things out in my own way,” Darrell added. “I don’t quite have the emotional baggage Martin