slumbering mind expected her to ask him a flood of questions, demanding to know where he’d been, why it had taken him so long to return.
Instead, she whispered, “What are you doing here? Who are you?”
His belly twisted. So much time had passed, surely she’d forgotten about him. If not, then she hated him for abandoning her to Vakar. Or she was already dead.
Abruptly, he stopped, his legs going weak, his head swimming.
“Lukan.” Damir pushed out of her chair and went to him.
He swung his hand out, keeping her away. A long time ago, he’d wanted the concern and love she now showed, and received neither. It was too late to return to that earlier time. Only Arez could give him all that he still hungered for.
“Here,” Regina said, hurrying from the kitchen. She took the empty jar of peanut butter from him and delivered a full container, no doubt believing a lack of food had caused his dizziness rather than heartache over Arez. “Eat all you want,” Regina assured. “We have plenty.”
Her kindness tonight was in stark contrast to the first days he’d come here. Then, Lukan had felt Regina staring as he ate hurriedly, grabbing whatever food he could from her table, unable to help himself. Always he feared there wouldn’t be enough, or she’d snatch the meal from him as the guards had done in the Pleasure Palace. And so he’d behaved like a man who’d known nothing but slavery and near starvation, no better than an animal created solely to be used or whipped.
Pride made him want to refuse the jar and turn his back to her. She’d never known a day of hunger. She’d never faced the prospect of someone deciding whether she would live another day or die.
“Go on,” she coaxed more softly than before.
Lukan took the food and backed away quickly, keeping himself from thanking her, refusing to show any weakness or trust. He shouldn’t even be eating. What was wrong with him? How could he feel hunger with Arez in such peril? How could he be so selfish?
He slammed the jar on the table. Plates of bacon and thick sausages, bowls of sweet squares called Rice Krispies Treats and a crunchy food known as Cheetos—all of his favorites on this side—clattered with the force of his blow. Damir sank to her seat, gripping the lip of the table, her brow furrowed with worry. Meelo stared at his uneaten sausage, looking ashamed. Not for Lukan’s outburst, but for what his experiments had caused.
Lukan stared at the man he’d once wanted to be his father, his thoughts raging. How could you have ruined so many lives? Why didn’t you stop what you were doing after creating me? Why didn’t you suspect what Vakar really wanted?
Why are you unable to look at me even now?
That was all Lukan wanted from Meelo…his attention and a small measure of respect, not remorse or fear.
“Lukan,” Nikoli said with forced calm, “please sit down.”
He would not, even though he was still unsteady on his feet and so tired it was an effort to breathe. “What you’ve done so far isn’t enough.”
Nikoli showed no reaction to the accusation.
Lukan went to him, not stopping until he was next to his chair. Regina followed, no doubt prepared to protect her man as Arez had done with him. “Don’t worry,” Lukan said to her, “I have no intention of harming Nikoli.”
“We’re not afraid of you,” he said before she could comment. “We understand your worry.”
“Then why haven’t you built the device?” Lukan argued. “You’ve had weeks to work on it. For such a celebrated scientist, it should be a simple matter. I need a portal to enter and to leave E4. That’s all.”
Nikoli laid his utensils on the plate, his spaghetti and bananas not even half-finished. “I’m aware of that, but the materials on this plane aren’t as sophisticated as what we have on E2. I need to adapt what I have available here to what I need. It’ll take a few more weeks for me to modify the device and perfect it.”
“No.”