Free Something Found by Carrie Crafton Page B

almost alert businessman standing fully clothed and shaved before her. And all the while the room stayed dark and cold.
    “I’ll have coffee with you.” She threw the covers off knowing if she didn’t get up in one quick motion it wouldn’t happen at all.
    “You don’t have to, y’know. You can sleep in,” his voice was flat and tired.
    The chill hit and her resolve faltered. But she knew if she fell back to sleep she’d never want to get up. It was better to leave the bed while she had a reason. “No. No. The bed’s lonely without you. I’ll get up,” she mumbled the words.
    “I’ll get the coffee ready.”
    The October sky was grey and uninviting. The bright light of the kitchen seemed an odd contrast to the world outside the window. Emily sat in her pajamas and slippers while Collin sat in his suit at the kitchen table.
    “What’re you going to do today?” Collin asked.
    The question rose up to face her and Emily stared blankly back at him. She knew he was just making conversation, but the fact that she had no answer was unnerving. There was absolutely nothing she had to do. No schedule to follow, no work to go to. She could do whatever she wanted. She found that freedom exhilarating and intimidating in equal measure.
    Collin sensed her grow uncomfortable and tried a laugh to help her relax. “Sure, you’re barely awake. I s’pose you haven’t decided yet.”
    Emily stared back, her eyes fuzzy and unfocused. “Yeah.”
    Collin lit up a cigarette, his first of the day. He stared down at his coffee, his mouth a grim straight line, his movements slow and heavy. He could get up at the same time without a bother on the weekend, but whenever Monday came around it was a different story.
    In his head he tried to continue the conversation, to reassure Emily that everything would be fine, that she would find her place and eventually feel she fit in. But his brain wasn’t up to full functioning capacity and he couldn’t find the right words and he didn’t want to attempt a conversation that might upset her more.
    They sat in silence drinking their coffee until Collin stood to go.
    “I better be off.”
    “Okay. Have a good day.”
    He leaned over to kiss her, his breath smelling of coffee and cigarettes. Then he headed out the door.
    Emily stayed where she was with her back to him. She heard the thud that signified he was gone. She pictured him lighting up another cigarette as soon as he was in the car. And then she felt the silence in the room. If she listened closely she could hear the wind outside and the hint of drizzle in the air. But she didn’t want to listen that closely.
    For a moment she closed her eyes and was reminded of cold mornings in Minnesota. Some days her mom and aunt both left the house by six a.m. leaving her and Jeremy to get ready and get the bus on their own. The first sound she would hear in the dark still house was the alarm going off in Jeremy’s room. Then she would wait for the second most important sound, the faint click of the heating and the even fainter sound of warm air being pushed into the room. It was followed by a light dusty smell. Then she’d hop straight from her bed to the vent on the floor. Huddling over it she’d pull her nightshirt over her knees and create a little teepee of heat. She’d sit there until Jeremy wandered sleepily over to turn on her light switch for her. Peeking over her bed she’d squint through the brightness to manage an almost-smile as he disappeared into the bathroom. Then she’d pull on the clothes she’d set out for herself the night before. There could be no chance of them being late as there was no one to drive them to school. Her mother was firm on that point.
    “Do you remember those days Jeremy? The mounds and mounds of white snow? And the way your nose hairs would freeze with your first breath of cold air? And you would make me Quaker instant oatmeal for breakfast.”
    He was there again, standing in front of the sliding