Free Holding on to Heaven by Keta Diablo

hands, Nelly settled it near the hearth and shot Lauren one of her pursed-lip faces.
    Damn the all-seeing-all-knowing Nelly. Biddleentered with buckets of water. She’d have to talk to her aunt about the elderly man toting scalding water up the stairs.
    Estelle chased the others from the room. "Hurry along now, dear. I’m off to entertain Jonathan."
    Her aunt closed the door and Lauren crossed the room to lock it. She slipped out of the pants and the blouse and next, the undergarments. She gasped. Bright red blood stained the pantalets. Hers? She dangled the camisole in the air between two fingers. Ruined. Shredded. Destroyed. She walked to the hearth, tossed them into the empty belly, and struck a match. Smoke billowed into the room, panicking her. She rushed to the window, opened it, and cocked an ear toward the voices below—Estelle's and Jonathan's. In seconds, the garments evaporated and the gray haze cleared from the room.
    Lauren breathed a sigh of relief and lowered her achy body into the water. Every muscle screamed out in protest¾her legs, arms, back, and the tender flesh between her thighs. Recalling her encounter with Creed, a shiver ran down her spine. She picked up the bar of soap, worked it into lather and wished she could wash away the massive faux pas right along with the grime.
    The thought of Creed leaving crushed her. Perhaps she could talk him out of it. The dismal thoughts multiplied. The man wasn’t the type to commit, wouldn’t ask for her hand in marriage even if he didn’t leave with his brother. She’d never felt so hopeless.
    She rinsed off and donned clean clothing. From the porch below, Jonathan’s voice drifted upward and through her window. In addition to entertaining him, she’d have to bear up under Aunt Estelle and Nelly’s inquisitive looks. With one last look in the mirror, she quit the room and hustled down the stairs.
    Her heart soared with the thought of meeting Creed tomorrow. For a short time, all would be well in her world.
    * * * *
     
    The stars favored Lauren the following afternoon. Aunt Estelle and Uncle Mason left for a visit with Ethan and Ansonia Garrett after the noon meal and wouldn't return until dusk. Lauren had rubbed her forehead, claiming the lingering headache would prevent her from enjoying herself and might ruin the day for all.
    About to ride from the barn on Adobe, she heard Nelly's voice in the still afternoon air. "Where is ya goin', Miss?"
    "Good God, Nelly, you frightened the wits out of me!"
    Nelly rocked back on her heels. "I thought ya had a headache?"
    Anger came suddenly. "I don't have to answer you, but if you must know, I'm going for a ride."
    "Uh-huh."
    "Move aside, and I'll thank you not to tattle to Estelle about my comings and goings."
    "Ya gonna be sorry takin' up after Creed Gatlin. He’s wild as the wind, won't take to a woman who wants to tie 'em down." Nelly's brown eyes softened. "I don’t want your heart broke."
    For a moment, Lauren felt like crying, wanted to jump from the horse, run into Nelly's arms and pour her heart out. Confession was good for the soul, and the fact she’d given herself to a man who’d soon be gone made her feel lower than a beetle. The thought of not seeing him again, not telling him goodbye tore at her heart. Her eyes darted about the barn.
    Nelly stepped aside. "Go on then, but don't say I didn't warn ya."
    "What about Aunt Estelle?"
    Nelly ran a finger over her lips. "I don’t know nothin'."
    Lauren dug her heels into Adobe and sped down the long dirt drive. The sun hung low on the western horizon as she rode through the field, down the narrow path, and then came to a halt near the pond. The faint aroma of tobacco drifted around her. He was here, somewhere. All her defenses evaporated when a strong arm pulled her from the saddle and drew her against a hard chest. His mouth devoured hers. Exquisite torture. She threw her arms around his neck, tangled her fingers in his long hair and clung to a