Free Loose Ends by Don Easton

show emotion. But you can’t keep everything bottled up inside you. It’s not good! Your body is like a dam. It breaks if you don’t let go sometimes.”
    Ben paused, then said, “I was wonderin’ if we shouldn’t do somethin’ as a tribute.”
    Elizabeth nodded encouragement.
    â€œI picked … I picked a pail full of blackberries.”
    Elizabeth was momentarily stunned and her eyes brimmed with tears. “Oh, Ben! I’m sorry. I can’t. I’ll put them in the freezer. But not now. I just can’t. I’ll make another pie, but not that one, not yet.”
    â€œI’m sorry. It was a dumb idea.”
    â€œNo, it’s not dumb. It’s just me,” she sobbed.
    Ben pulled her close to his chest. She continued to sob as she choked out what she wanted to say. “It’s strange, there are times when I look at the pictures Maggie drew, or hold the teddy bear that Ben Junior used to drag around with him all the time. Sometimes I feel the need to cry. I think it helps. But I can’t make a blackberry pie, not yet. It was Maggie’s favourite.”
    â€œI know it was,” whispered Ben. “I know,” he repeated, patting her on the back.
    Then she looked Ben straight in the eye and added, “But we sure as hell aren’t going to move, either.”
    They hugged each other tight, and then they both cried.
    Jack climbed into the loft and saw Ben sitting on a bale, staring at a rope hanging from the rafters. Jack self-consciously cleared his throat before sitting on another bale.
    â€œGlad you could make it,” said Ben. “You’re early.”
    â€œThought you could use an extra hand with the hay.”
    â€œRained last night. I’m givin’ it another day to dry.” Ben was silent for a moment, then said, “Nothing new?”
    â€œMight be connected to drug dealers out of Quebec. I’m working on it.”
    â€œThink the murderer is from Quebec?”
    â€œI think whoever did it is from the West Coast. Only a high-level dealer familiar with the area would go to the bother of using a place like that.”
    â€œYeah, it was a real bother, wasn’t it?”
    Jack choked on his own breath, then stammered, “I’m sorry Ben. I didn’t mean…”
    â€œNaw, forget it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’ve been a real friend, Jack. Probably the best damn friend I’ve ever had. It’s just that today is, well…”
    Ben’s voice trailed off and both men sat in silence. Eventually Ben gestured at the rope hanging from the rafter and said, “It was only two weeks ago that Ben Junior was pretending to be a pirate and swingin’ out on that rope. Maggie was sitting here drinking lemonade.”
    Jack didn’t respond. He didn’t know what to say. He felt the gnawing in his stomach. He clenched his teeth to control his tear ducts, then took a deep breath and relaxed his jaw.
    â€œYou know, Jack, I’m not a violent man. But if you ever find out who did it … I’d like to see this rope used for a different purpose. I know it won’t bring Maggie or Ben Junior back. Nothing could. I just figure somebody should pay for what happened.”
    â€œSomebody will pay for this,” said Jack tersely.
    â€œI can still see Maggie sitting on the bale drinking lemonade … trying to act like a grown-up lady. Sometimes I walk in the kitchen and expect to see her sitting at the table drawing pictures. Then I remember. I’ll never see her again. It makes me embarrassed I could forget, even for a moment, what happened.”
    â€œMaybe it’s good to remember the good times.”
    â€œMaybe. Liz still sees the blood. She woke up again last night, screaming and pushing my head away from her pillow, thinking it was Ben Junior’s at … at that place.”
    Jack saw the tears in Ben’s eyes and wondered if