Free The Wind From Hastings by Morgan Llywelyn Page B

I; no beekeeper keeps such hours. I have not just one flock to guard but many! I must protect them all from invasion, administer the Laws and hold court to settle rights and wrongs. It is a tiresome task that is never completed, for as soon as I put down one problem two more rise in its place.” He shook his head in a weary way.
    â€œIf the business of kingship is so tiresome,” I asked, logically, I thought, “then why do men seek to rule?”
    Griffith took a long time answering, and his voice was soft when at last he spoke. “Each man has a vision of himself, Aldith, a picture in his head of the way he wants to think of himself. I was the son of a great Prince; my vision, when it came, was to be a greater Prince than my father. I saw myself as a man who could not be beaten, and it gave me much pleasure to think of myself in that way. And so I have lived my life, striving always to be the best, the strongest, the most powerful.”

    â€œBut it hasn’t made you happy? Is that what you are trying to tell me?”
    His face lightened marvelously, and I felt a wash of relief. “Ho, Aldith, it has made me very happy! Sometimes. I have you! And honors and opportunities and the respect of men. I meant merely that I pay a high price for all that, my love, and that I will never be free of the goad of ambition or the responsibilities that go with it.”
    Sometimes, he had said. Sometimes he was happy.
    But sometimes he was not. Warned, I noted the times when his expression was grim and there was no laughter at table. I saw his hands shake with fatigue at times, and many were the nights I lay alone on our pallet till cockcrow while he conferred in the hall with ministers and soldiers.
    And sometimes he was away for long periods, and the wind from the sea sang sad songs around the towers.
    When Griffith was at Rhuddlan, he broke with ancient custom and had me always seated at his right hand at the feasting table. But when he was away, with his household cavalry and his cup-bearer and his physician and his footholder and all the rest of his retinue, then I was banished too. Instead of taking my meals in the Great Hall with the ranking members of the court, I dined in our own chamber. I could hear the male voices raised in song or quarrel, but without Griffith I was no part of them.
    During that time I felt almost an outcast again, denied the company of men I had come to like and admire. There was Emlyn, the court judge, kindly and sober, and Gwerstan, our chapel priest and Griffith’s secretary. Rhys the chamberlain and Caradog the steward. And a goodly number of others besides. All men who talked with me and asked after my health and seemed to enjoy my company when Griffith was there. But when Griffith was away on the business of his kingdom, those of the court who remained behind
were a closed company, kind and polite to me always but never including me in their number.
    Even though this was the Saxon way as well, still it rankled me. I complained a bit to Griffith.
    â€œI am your Lady whether you are here or naught; don’t I deserve a place at table in your absence?”
    â€œIt is the custom, Aldith!”
    â€œIt is not a fair custom!”
    â€œYou are still a child Aldith; you have not had enough experience to judge what is fair and what is not. The ancient ways were established by wise men who had good reasons. It is not seemly for you to question them.” Griffith was using his stern, adult-speaking-to-a-child voice on me, but it did not always work.
    â€œWhen will I cease being a child? When will I be old enough for my own ideas to be respected, Griffith? I am not a fool. I can think!”
    Griffith began to lose patience. “I know you can think. I would not have a wife who was stupid, she might give me stupid sons. But you should think a woman’s thoughts and not try to meddle with the traditions of men.” There was a rough note of anger in his voice and a