bad it is? Alicia had written. They went in to fight over custody of our DOG. I hate them.
Whitney was aware of her friends, chatting happily around her, totally oblivious.
Custody of Vic? she wrote to Alicia. That was their white Jack Russell terrier. Since her dad had stayed in the house after the separation, heâd gotten the dog.
Are there other dogs in the picture? Alicia texted back. Of course Vic.
Why canât they just figure it out on their own? Whitney asked.
Because theyâre immature infants, Alicia wrote. I hate them both.
âDo you ever wonder what Caesar thought?â Laurel asked, taking a sip of water from Whitneyâs bottle.
Whitney set down her phone. Her head felt woozy. âWhat he thought when?â she asked. She wanted to pretend things were normal, that her parents werenât going through a divorce and fighting over a dog and her sister didnât hate everyone. She wished she could live in this world of Grease and never leave.
âWhen Brutus was coming at him with a knife,â Laurel said.
âIt wasnât just Brutus coming at him,â Gus said. âIt was the entire Senate.â
âBrutal,â Whitney said.
Everyone laughed. When her phone pinged again, she turned it off.
GREGOR
GREGOR DID NOT see this coming. At least they were doing dishes so he didnât have to look his dad in the eye.
âAs I imagine you know,â his dad said, âthere are several brands. When you do need a condom, I recommend starting with a conventional maker like Trojan or Lifestyle.â
At least his mom and Erica werenât home. They were searching for prom dresses at the mall. He and his dad had made burgers and eaten in front of the TV. Things had seemed normal until . . . this. Gregorâs cheeks felt feverish, and his ears were ringing.
âDo you know about lubrication?â his dad asked, handing him a sudsy plate.
Gregor stooped over the dishwasher, taking extra time to fit the plate in.
âI guess,â he finally managed. âItâs moisture, right?â
âExactly.â His dad handed him two forks. âA condom with lubrication will be more comfortable for your partner . . . and for you. Spermicide is important too. Iâll buy you some condoms to try on when youâre ready. Itâs good to have practice.â
Now his dad was going too far. Way too far.
âDad.â Gregorâs voice was barely a squeak. âIâm kind of dying here. Can we change the subject?â
âToo much?â
âMaybe a little,â Gregor said. âMaybe a thousand times more than a little.â
âGot it.â Gregorâs dad tossed him a sponge to clean the counters. âHereâs a good story for you. This is an embarrassing one from when I was in high school.â
âItâs not about condoms, is it?â
His dad shook his head and then squeezed dishsoap into the frying pan. âOne morning my mom was dropping me off outside the band room.â
Gregor tried to picture his grandmother as a mom, driving her son to school. Nana Margaret had gotten her license taken away a few years ago when sheâd knocked over three mailboxes in a five-day period.
Gregorâs dad continued. âShe was driving a green Oldsmobile station wagon with a bumper sticker that said My Child Is An Honor Student .â
âSounds bad,â Gregor said, grinning. He was still recovering from the condom talk, but he liked stories from when his dad went to Hankinson.
âI opened the passenger door, got my oboe case, and stepped out. Just at that moment, Nana Margaret backed up, rolling over my foot. But instead of continuing to reverse, she braked to remind me I had an orthodontist appointment that afternoon.â
âShe drove over your foot? Were you okay?â
âNo!â Gregorâs dad laughed. âBut just as I was about to scream, I saw three cute girls on the path going into