âI finished sooner than expected. How are you doing?â
âUh, fine,â I say, closing the window and logging out before she can see what Iâve been reading. I grab my own backpack and stand up.
âI can wait a bit, if you like,â she says, appraising my empty bag. I havenât even looked for books yet, but I donât feel like it now anyway. How can I think about reading when my own aunt is trying to pull my family apart?
I clasp my hands together to stop them from shaking. âItâs okay. Iâve still got a few books at home to read. Mostly I wanted to check my email.â I meet her eyes. âI got a message from Mom.â
âOh?â
We walk to the main exit in silence. Outside, she asks what the email said.
âShe thinks Iâm angry at her because we never actually finish a conversation these days.â I kick a stone in my path. Hard. âShe probably assumes Iâve asked you to take the phone away every evening.â
Jeanette sighs. âLook, Ellie, Iâve told your mother exactly what Iâve told you: that I think she needs professional help, and that I think you need some space. I asked her to stop telling you all her problems and suggested she look for a psychologist.â
I feel like shoving her against the wall and demanding that she use her brain. âIf youâre so worried about her, why make everything worse by making her think Iâm mad at her?â
âHold on there,â she says, stopping to face me. âI didnât make her think anything. After you and I discussed the whole mental-health thing, I told her what we had talked about and requested that she not rely on you for emotional support. From there, she jumped to her own conclusions.â
âOf course she did,â I say. âShe probably thinks Iâm the one who decided sheâs crazy and that I donât want anything to do with her.â It sounds illogical when it comes out of my mouth, but I know my mother.
âIf she thinks that, then itâs not because I havenât explained.â Jeanette bites her lip and is silent for a second. âYou know, you could have refused to give me the phone. I wouldnât have forced you to give it to me.â
Fire surges into my cheeks, and I glare at her. How dare she make it sound like Iâm the one who wants to abandon my parents?
She meets my eyes. âIâm worried about you, Ellie. I think you need a break, and Iâm trying to provide that for you. You seem to have blossomed this summerâmaking friends with Sarah, learning to play the bandoneón, getting to know Victoria on your own. I donât want you to backtrack when you go home.â
âWhat do you know about how things work in my family?â
She stares at me in shocked silence. Until this moment âmy familyâ has always included her. I know my words cut deep, but sheâs brought it on herself.
Sheâs asking me to pick favorites, and she should know thatâs a dangerous game to play.
F OURTEEN
âD ad, itâs me.â
âHi, honey.â Dad hates talking on the phone, so we havenât spoken at all since I left home. But I still expected him to sound happier to hear from me. Maybe Iâve caught him in the middle of something. Maybe he and Mom are working out the details of their divorce. âHowâs Victoria?â
I describe my adventures with Sarah and meeting Michael and Steve. I do not mention that Sarah has been talking about Michael and Steve almost nonstop since. She sees them as her âinâ at Vic Middle. I tell myself itâs ridiculous to feel left out when of course theyâll be more useful to her than I ever could be.
âThatâs great, Ellie,â my father says.
âHow are you doing, Dad?â I ask. âMom says sheâs worried about you.â
âOh, Iâm okay,â he says. âPretty busy with