Free It Had To Be You by Kathryn Shay

less upheaval in their lives.
    As they trekked down the paved path to the
bears, she asked casually, “Did you have fun with Grandma and
Grandpa yesterday?” She tried not to grill Josh about the visits,
but him being around his father worried her.
    “ Uh-huh.”
    “ What did you do?”
    “ Helped turn up the garden. Grandpa
didn’t care how dirty I got.”
    “ Grandpa’s cool. Was your dad with
you?”
    Josh shook his head. After a moment, he
added, “He bought me a new game for my Xbox. We played for a little
while.”
    Did he drink while they were together? She
dared not ask.
    “ He had to go to bed after. He was
tired. Grandma and me made cookies.”
    So Len did drink. Damn it! And she’d warned
him about video games—they tended to be so violent.
    “ Hey, there they are. Aw, Mom, look
they’re sleeping together.”
    It was a beautiful sight, the two bulky
animals, one spread out on its side, the other draped over it in a
mound of white fur. Lela forced herself to banish thoughts of Len,
who was unable to stay away from the booze even when his child was
visiting. Thank God for the Allens, or Josh would never see his
dad.
    Though most times she wondered if that would
be so bad.
    o0o
    Beck sat in the firehouse kitchen, reading The Heart of Hidden Cove , a paper produced by Sands’
husband, surrounded by the pleasant scent of her bacon-and-eggs
breakfast, when the doorbell rang. O’Malley went to see who’d
arrived.
    Soon, he heard behind him, “Colonel?” An
address rarely directed at him these days. He turned and found Len
Allen with Brody.
    “ This guy said you told him he could
contact you anytime,” his colleague stated. When Beck didn’t
respond, because he was surprised, Brody asked, “This cool,
Beck?”
    “ Sure.”
    Brody left them alone. Beck stood. “Hi,
Len.”
    “ Hope this is okay.” The man waved a
hand around. His eyes were more bloodshot than white, and when Beck
took a step closer, he inhaled that stale scent of beer and
cigarettes.
    “ Rough night?”
    “‘ Fraid so. ‘S why I came.”
    “ Let’s sit outside.” Where they’d have
privacy and he could be upwind of the guy.
    They left by way of the back door and walked
into the crisp, clean, fresh outdoors. Still able to recall the
heavy parched air in Afghanistan, Beck always appreciated the
weather in New York State. “Sit.”
    They took places at a picnic table, on
opposite sides, facing each other. In the clear light of day, Allen
looked even worse. The dark circles under his eyes and the lines
around his mouth made him seem old and worn. “Talk to me,
soldier.”
    “ I…” The guy scanned the area and shook
his head. “I had Josh yesterday.”
    I know. Beck had been trying not to
think about this man’s wife. “How’d it go?”
    “ Good. For a while.”
    “ Did you drink after he
left?”
    “ No, while he was there. I passed out
on the bed upstairs. I told the kid I had to lay down and never
made it back.” Even the tone of his voice was disgusted. Beck
sensed this man did not like what he’d turned into. A spurt of
anger for all vets who went to war and came back half the men they
had been shot through him.
    Bracing his arms on the table, he captured
Allen’s gaze. “You need help, Staff Sergeant.”
    “ I tried to come to the Trauma
Survivor’s Group.” Now his tone was whiny, which didn’t bode
well.
    “ Harrison told you that wasn’t
possible. He wanted to meet with you privately. Did you call
him?”
    Len shook his head.
    “ Not good. It’s almost impossible to
manage this thing alone.”
    Frowning, Allen’s eyes narrowed. “You had to go to the group. I heard that.”
    “ I got help before I became a
firefighter, too. Look, Len, you can learn to live with the
condition. You can have a good life if you take the proper steps to
set it up right.” The statement made Beck a hypocrite—his life
wasn’t good—but he believed it was possible.
    “ Lela’s divorcing me.”
    “ She has a