Free Facing the Music by Larry Brown Page A

and looked at me with hisdick sticking out of his pants. She laid her head back down. I couldn’t understand why they were doing what they were doing. She pushed her dress up and pulled my hand in between her legs. I tried to talk to her for a while, but it was never any use. She got to telling me all about her job, and how this man who worked there was always trying to sweet-talk her on break. I had an old pistol that had belonged to my father. She said leave it alone. I had some beer iced down in my car and I asked her if she wanted one. Or three. “Get out,” the one with the rifle said. She did say that Julie would be ready in a few minutes. I sat in the driveway for a long time just looking at the house. The one I hit got up off the ground. People were watching television within sight of us. I was running late when I got home, but she had my clothes ironed and laid out for me. It couldn’t have been easy for her. I’d thought he was hurting her because of the way she was moaning. I went inside quietly and washed the blood off my face with a wet towel. They had a nice home there, but he was a long way from the house. I romped on it a little and the back end slid. She said if I wanted to take care of her, take her home. Something cold touched the side of my head. “Please, God,” he said. I asked her what she would do about her clothes. When it was dry we’d take a blanket out of the trunk and spread it on the ground. The first thing she did was go over to the boy and spit on him. I knew we’d have a good time. She always made me lock the doors. I couldn’t understand why nobody was coming to help us. “Listen,” I said, “I don’t know what you guys want.” I could tell that she was happy. But one night we ran out or I forgot to buy some,or something. It didn’t have a jack under it anywhere. The dates were so faded, and the names, too, that you couldn’t read them. She didn’t know the third one. Sometimes we’d tear each other’s clothes getting them off. She told me on the way home. I knew the leaves were wet and cold and I knew how they felt on her skin. She raised up and looked at me. The tires were spinning in the mud. But then I thought that maybe she was just lonely. “You want to do it up here?” I said. “Or you want to get in the back?” But we were running late. She was on her knees and I could see him lunging at her face. I asked her if we were finished and she said yes. We’d have to find a place to live. I didn’t want it growing up with just its mother’s name, either. She had enough on her already. She was like me. I could have let him live. There were cars passing on the road and I kept thinking that one would surely pull in. I didn’t even know where Julie’s daddy was. There was a fifth of Wild Turkey on the kitchen table. I used to hunt there. He put his hands up in front of his face and closed his eyes and said, “Jesus, Jesus, oh please Jesus.” The night I came in from fishing, I went to bed quietly and tried to go to sleep, but I could hear them moving in her bed, and once in a while, her moaning. But she got up that night and put on a robe and told me it was all right. I was afraid it would hurt her too much. I could do it, too. I just wanted her to be happy. The only thing we could think about was getting it into her as quickly as possible. I loved that rain. She said, “If I could dance, I’d marry that man.” I was hungry and wanted to fix myself some breakfast. Some were killed in the Civil War. Blood was in my eyes. You could seethe ruts deep in the mud where the tires had gone before us. That night was no different. I took her blouse and bra off and she got on top of me. I told her that I wanted to take care of her. He was gone the next morning and we didn’t talk about it. I said I hoped it was a boy. “You just shut your mouth,” he said. I