Free Bingo Brown's Guide to Romance by Betsy Byars

‘Well, excuse me, but last time we saw Melissa she ran past Bingo without speaking. Time before that, she didn’t give him but seven or eight words. She don’t act like somebody who wants to know whether he’s home or not. What’s she got in mind, Weez—ringing his doorbell and hiding in the bushes?’ ”
    Bingo interrupted. “Wentworth, let me get this straight. Melissa is coming over to my house?”
    â€œYou got it.”
    â€œThis afternoon?” Bingo sat up.
    â€œYeah.” Wentworth checked his watch. “She ought to be here any minute now. I mean, this conversation took place a half-hour ago—maybe more. I lose track of time when I’m reading.”
    Bingo got to his feet.
    â€œGood-bye, Wentworth.”
    â€œYou don’t mind if I finish this book, do you? It’s getting good.”
    â€œBe my guest.”
    â€œI might even read the hull thing. Get it? Hull thing!”
    â€œGot it,” Bingo said as he ran for the house.

The Brown Crisis
    B INGO WENT IN THE back door just as his mother was attempting to come out of it.
    â€œBingo, watch what you’re doing!”
    â€œSorry.”
    He passed her and headed at once for the bathroom. He knew there wouldn’t be any mousse, but a quick shave would give him the manly feeling that he needed to meet this new crisis.
    â€œBingo, wait!”
    â€œI can’t! I’m in a hurry.”
    â€œI have wonderful news.”
    â€œLater.”
    He rushed into the bathroom and closed the door. He turned on the water so that the drone of his father’s electric razor would be muted.
    He slid his glasses up on top of his head. He paused. He liked himself almost as much with his glasses on his head as with them on his face. Actually, he would have liked to have two pairs—one for his head and one—
    He broke off his thoughts and reached for the razor.
    His mother’s voice came from just outside the door. She had followed him. Couldn’t she leave him alone for one moment without trying to disturb him with wonderful news? Wonderful news was the last thing he wanted to hear when he had to get ready for a mixed-sex conversation.
    â€œThe wonderful news is that your father is back to normal!”
    â€œThat’s nice.”
    Bingo’s hands were trembling with excitement. He fumbled the razor and dropped it. He picked it up by the cord, clicked it on, and took immediate comfort in the normalcy of the buzz. He hadn’t broken it.
    â€œI don’t know how it happened. I left and he was lying on the bed with his eyes closed to the world, and I come back and he’s playing with Jamie. A miracle!”
    Bingo began to go over his left cheek.
    â€œAnd your dad and I are going out!”
    â€œThat’s nice.”
    â€œYou look after Jamie.”
    Bingo was so astonished that he flung open the door without concealing his father’s razor. His glasses flopped down onto his face.
    â€œMom, I can’t baby-sit.”
    â€œI know. I know.” She held up her hands as if in defense. “I said you could have the afternoon to read your book, but Bingo, that was before your father got back to normal!”
    â€œI can’t baby-sit.”
    â€œBingo, we want to celebrate. We want to go out and do something fun—have a picnic or bowl or do something we haven’t done in years. Go out to the lake and walk barefoot through the sands of time.”
    â€œI cannot baby-sit.”
    â€œBingo, you aren’t hearing me. Your father is back to normal.”
    â€œI hear you fine. You are the one who is not hearing me. I cannot baby-sit.”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œI have plans.”
    â€œWhat plans?”
    â€œI might—I have reason to believe that I definitely will—have company.”
    â€œCompany?”
    â€œYes. Company.”
    â€œYou can have company. Who, Wentworth? Wentworth won’t mind Jamie. Anyway,