Free Burn My Heart by Beverley Naidoo

free? Even a fool knows that the wazungu won’t let him go. They took our land with guns! It is time for us to take it back!’ Gitau’s voice had been rising but now he lowered it. ‘Anyway, we have other leaders.’
    ‘Is someone a leader who tells brother to kill brother?’ Baba demanded.
    For the first time Gitau looked away.
    ‘Is it right for a Kikuyu to kill his brother? Is that unity?’
    ‘Uncle, if a person betrays us, is that person not a traitor?’ Maina asked quietly.
    Mugo’s mind had been twisting with all theunanswered questions but when he heard the word ‘traitor’, he was seized once again with a terrible panic. He prayed there were no Muhimu listening in the next room. He was sure they wouldn’t like Baba’s questions. He had to stop this argument. He gripped his stomach and began to moan.
    ‘Aahh! I feel sick again!’
    ‘Quick! A container! Your brother was sick earlier today.’
    ‘I need fresh air, Baba. I’ll be better outside!’
    Mugo turned to the door and Maina hastily unbolted it. Mugo lurched out. He threw himself against the wall and breathed deeply. Baba followed with his forehead meshed in a frown.
    ‘Let us go or we shall be late.’ Baba began walking away. He was leaving without properly saying goodbye.
    Gitau came to the doorway. He took Mugo’s hand and pressed it. For a moment Mugo held it tight. He wished that they could have had time together on their own… with no arguments and no one else listening. He had his own questions that he wanted to ask his brother. Instead, he gave his mother’s message.
    ‘Mami says she hopes you are well.’ He didn’t complete the second part – that Gitau should visit her before he returned to school.
    ‘Tell Mami I hope she stays well. Go well, little brother.’
    Suddenly Mugo remembered what he had in his pockets. He had nearly forgotten!
    ‘Wait!’ He pulled out the two little wooden elephants and thrust one into Gitau’s hand. ‘I made it for you! I’m keeping this one for myself. See, they are brothers!’ He held up the charging elephant that he had made for Karanja in his palm. Clasping it in his fist, he ran to catch up with Baba.

10

A Night in the Gorge
    There was tension inside the car even before Father pulled up on the dust road beside the location. After driving out of the club gates, he had commented that Lance’s father was ‘rather self-opinionated’. Mother had disagreed, saying that she thought his army training had made him ‘a realist’ and ‘probably quite clear-sighted’. Mathew was sure they would have continued if he were not sitting in the back. He had thrown in that he thought Lance might be like his father but his parents had only said ‘Oh’ and ‘Hmm’. The conversation was closed but the discordant note lingered.
    Kamau and Mugo were waiting at the spot where they had left them near the location gates. Mathew shuffled along the back seat to make room. For the first time he felt slightly odd and self-conscious about sharing the seat. He grinned at Mugo, trying not to show his awkward thoughts.
    ‘Did you have a nice time?’
    ‘Yes,’ Mugo said, but he didn’t smile.
    ‘Did your brother and your cousin like the elephants you made them?’
    Mugo just nodded. He had proudly shown them to Mathew earlier but now it was marked that he didn’t want to talk about them.
    ‘How is your sister, Kamau?’ Father spoke loudly above the drone of the engine.
    ‘She is getting better, bwana.’
    ‘So it wasn’t so urgent after all, hey? You made it sound like she was at death’s door!’ Mathew wasn’t sure whether Father was joking or accusing.
    ‘What was wrong with her, Kamau?’ asked Mother. ‘Did she see a doctor?’ Mother always liked to know a doctor’s diagnosis.
    ‘I don’t know, memsahib. She was just sick.’
    ‘Well, I hope her husband is taking care of her now. Men should help their wives when they are sick.’
    ‘Yes, memsahib.’
    Everyone fell quiet. There was