know?â
Caitlin picks up the check and walks over to the cash register, her movements fluid and graceful despite the phenomenal energy that animates her. The restaurant is empty now but for the cashier and our waitress, who chooses thismoment to come forward with her copy of False Witness . I take the book, open it to the flyleaf, and accept the pen she offers.
âWould you like me to personalize it?â
âWow, that would be great. Um, to Jenny. Thatâs me.â
âNo last name?â
âJust Jenny would be cool.â
I write: Jenny, I enjoyed meeting you. Penn Cage.
She blushes as she takes back the book, then glances at Caitlin, who stands waiting for me. âIâd love to talk to you sometime,â she says in a quavering voice. âAsk you some questions, maybe.â
I recognize the nervous tones of an aspiring writer. âIâll be in again. A friend of mine owns the place.â
âWow, okay. Thanks.â
I join Caitlin as she walks out onto the brightly lit street.
âDid you get enough for your piece?â
âMore than enough.â She tucks her copy of False Witness under one arm and buttons her jacket. âAP will probably pick it up, and itâll be reprinted all over the South. They like fluff as much as anybody.â
I sigh wearily.
âIâm joking, Penn. God, take it easy, would you?â
âI guess Iâm a little tense.â
âA little?â She takes False Witness in both hands, then bends at the waist and touches the book flat against the sidewalk, displaying a limberness that makes my back hurt and draws looks from several passersby. âMmm, I needed that.â
âIf I tried that, theyâd hear tendons popping across the river.â
She smiles. âNot if you practiced. We should do this again. You can be deep background on Southern crime and psychology.â
I start to decline, then surprise myself by saying, âI might be able to help you with that.â
Her eyes sparkle with pleasure. âIâll call you. And Iâm sorry again about the airplane. Tell Annie I said hello.â
She holds out her hand and I take it, not thinking anything of it and so being all the more surprised by the shock I feel. When our eyes meet, we recognize something in each other that neither expects and both quickly look away from.
âThe story will probably run Wednesday in the Southern Life section,â she says in a flustered voice, and awkwardly releases my hand. âIâll mail some copies to your parents. Iâm sure your mom still clips everything about you.â
âAbsolutely.â
Caitlin Masters looks at me once more, then turns and walks quickly to a green Miata parked across the street with its top down. I am acutely aware of her physical presence, even across the street, and inexplicably glad that she suggested another lunch. With that gladness comes a rush of guilt so strong that it nauseates me. Seven months ago I was standing at my wifeâs deathbed, then her coffin. Seven seconds ago I felt something for another woman. This small and natural response causes me more guilt than sleeping with a woman out of physical necessityâwhich I have not yet done. Because what I felt was more than physical. A glacier consumes whole forests by inches. As small as it is, that glimmer of feeling is absolute proof that someone else will one day occupy the place Sarah held in my life.
I feel like a traitor.
CHAPTER 6
My father wakes me by slapping a newspaper against my forehead. After I rub the sleep from my eyes, I see my own face staring up from the front page of the Natchez Examiner , above the fold. Theyâve scanned my most recent author photo and blown it up to âthis man assassinated the presidentâ size. The headline reads: PRODIGAL SON RETURNS HOME .
âThe goddamn phone hasnât stopped ringing,â Dad growls. âEverybody wants to know why my son is