commanding.
“I’m not going to lie. I want you. I want all of your body right now. I want to kiss that lip you’re biting so soft and tender. I want to touch you and I want to make you come undone beneath my hands. I don’t do commitment, Gabby. It’s not who I am. I am really good at one night stands, the friends with benefits thing. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to see you cry. I would rather tell you this than make you feel like a used piece of garbage. Please don’t cry. Please let me have this night with you. Even if we can’t meet each other’s needs. Please let me just have this night holding you, dancing with you, looking into your beautiful golden eyes, Gabby. Please don’t run away from this .” His plea was sweet as he gestured that familiar gesture they kept mirroring to each other.
He raised his hand gently and slowly raising his eyebrows as it reached in front of their faces to imply what his intentions were and she didn’t move. He continued and gently brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ears and he planted a gentle kiss on her forehead as she leaned her head down and ultimately into his awaiting lips. He moved his hands to the side of her face still swaying to the music and he used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. He pushed her hair out of the wetness brushing it behind her shoulders.
“I’m really tired, Bradley. Emotionally. Physically. I don’t know if I can do this. As tempting as you are, the reality is that you’re going to leave me. Even if I stay tonight, you’re going to leave me and go back to your life and I’m going to be left writhing and missing your touch, your face, the way you make me feel with your commanding voice, and I don’t even know you yet. I’ll be left wondering what if. Your touch is painful to me if you can’t want all of me. You can’t just have my body.” Her voice cracked as she spoke her last sentence and tears again prickled the back of her eyes.
He dropped his hands at her admission that his touch was painful. His lips formed a hard line and he clenched his fits. He realized the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. What he really wanted to do was to grab her face, kiss her and make her forget all of this baggage she was so worried about . But, he also knew he didn’t want to become new baggage. Bradley knew that even though he wanted her, wanted to worship her cute little body and make love to her, it wouldn’t be enough. He knew that he wasn’t capable of a serious relationship. The thought sent a pain throughout his body he had never experienced. He backed up to put some distance between the two of them. He certainly couldn’t make rational decisions being so close to her.
Realizing he had been defeated, he put his arms up to surrender stepping back once more, “Okay. I don’t want to hurt you, Gabby. I wish this could have been different. You’re different. I don’t want to let you walk away, but you’re right. I will hurt you and I can’t stomach the thought of that. You deserve better. I guess this is goodbye, huh?”
Tears streamed down her face. Why was she so emotionally screwed up and unavailable ? She was furious with herself and proud all at once. She was five thousand emotions, whom was she kidding? She was a friggin’ basket case, and that wasn’t Bradley’s fault. She was this way before she even laid eyes on him.
“Goodbye Bradley.” She turned on her heel and walked away.
He froze in his position, with his hands in his pocket defeated as he watched her run to Sam, who held Gabby at arm’s length. Her lips pursed and Sam looked up and scowled at him. She put her arm around her little sister and they ran into the Charleston night. Just like that, Gabriella Gerhart was gone and now a part of his past.
Chapter 10
February 2008
As Gabby waited for Ian to pick her up to take her to the Miss Penn Foster High pageant, she smiled as she thought back to how Lindsey had tried to talk her into