Free Wishful Thinking by Elle Jefferson

huddled around a bonfire which provided little warmth against the chilly breeze.    
      Summer was over by the furthest fire huddled within the girl’s soccer team. Dean, Nate, Kyle and a few other rugby players were standing next to Summer’s group. I watched them all talking and laughing and felt like a dumbass.
    I uncapped the rum and took a swig. “Blech.” I plopped down by a rock a few yards away from the fire and placed the bottle next to me. I couldn’t shake the notion Summer had one foot out of our relationship readying herself to throw out the other one at any time. Could I blame her? Wasn’t I doing the exact same thing?
    "What are you doing over here?"  
    I looked up to Claudia’s smiling face.  
    I shrugged. "Nothing."
    She plopped down beside me. "No, please join me," I said
    “Don’t mind if I do."  
    “I’m not in the mood for talking."
    “Me either.” She leaned back against the rock and watched everyone over by the bonfires. Not a single star shown making it bleak, cold and lonely. Silence continued surprising me. I expected her to start one of those “everything okay” discussions or at least bug me about Nate, but she didn’t.  
    Good I wasn’t in the mood for a feelings conversations. Girls were good at dissecting your emotions and twisting them until somehow you were upset with them. You know since you were mad about losing a game, you blamed her which made you an asshole because clearly it wasn’t her fault. No matter how you argued it there was absolutely no way that you were upset about the game and nothing more.  
    “I’m sorry,” Claudia said after several minutes of silence, “I should never have said anything in front of your friends. It was lame.”
    “Whatever, it was bound to come out sometime.” I took another swig of rum hoping to warm myself from the inside out. “I’m trying to figure out if my bad luck around you is coincidence or if it’s you."
    She settled in closer to me. “I’m not a jinx, you’re just a klutz."
    I started playing with the bottle of Bacardi rolling it around in the sand. “You might be right.”
    “Summer’s your girlfriend, right? Like you two are a couple?"
    I pulled my coat tighter around me but it did little against the cold. Instead I took a swig of rum. “Yep.”  
    “Does it bother you the way guys hang all over her?"
    “Yep.” I shivered as the rum hit the back of my throat.  
    “Then why don’t you do something?"
    “What should I do? Act like a possessive jerk? Should I thump my chest and tell her who her friends can be?”
    “Okay, point taken … so.”
    “So, why do you care?”
    "I don’t, just making an observation,” she said and let our silence return.  
    Now I was annoyed. It was her turn to squirm. “So I know why I’m over here, but why are you?" I asked.
    "I don’t really do parties and you’re like the only person I kind of know."
    "And here I thought it was my charm and wit."
    "You’re not really my type."
    "I’m sure Nate will be happy to hear that."
    "Nate? He’s even less my type. No offense I know he’s your friend but he’s a bit full of himself."
    “Offense? Surprised you noticed. Most girls don’t until it’s way past late.”  
    “What’s the story with Dean?" she asked  
    “Dean? What about Dean?"
    “Is he single?"
    I couldn’t help it I started to laugh. “Good luck with that."
    She turned to elbow me, “Why are you laughing? Am I that awful to look at?" I laughed harder. "Wow, thanks for the confidence boost."  
    She was insulted. Seeing the wounded look on her face made me stop laughing.  
    “It’s not you. I’ve just never—girls never ask about Dean, that’s all."
    “He’s so smart and nice and totally hot, I’m probably too stupid for him."
    “I’m going to let you in on a secret, outside of book smarts he’s not that bright." She looked over to the bonfire at Dean. He was talking to a few other rugby players laughing and making faces, probably