thought?”
“I know, right?”
Closing my eyes, I replay some of the highlights of the day: the tender look on Ryan’s face as he told me about his foster dad’s encouragement and support, they playful look on his face when he asked me to spend the night with him. Of course the image that really stands out—the one that I know I’ll be revisiting again and again—is the look in his eyes as he gazed up at me from between my thighs.
Wow.
“It’s still so hard to believe what happened,” I muse. “You know, I never would have dreamed that Ryan would want to reciprocate after I sucked him off. Seems there’s a lot more to him than I’d originally thought.”
Tracy doesn’t answer right away. Just when the silence is starting to seem a bit awkward, she speaks up.
“You’re not thinking of…” Her voice trails off. “What I mean to say is…”
“What, Tracy? Just say it.”
“Okay.” She sighs. “I’m a little concerned that you might be in danger of getting hurt here. I’m not sure if I would have told you to go for it if I’d known you were starting to develop real, romantic feelings for him.”
“What?”
I am absolutely stumped. What is she talking about?
“That’s ridiculous. I’m not developing ‘real, romantic’ feelings for Ryan Blake. I have no idea where you might have gotten that impression from.”
“Oh, come on. You should have heard yourself when you said there’s more to him than you thought there was in this dreamy, sappy little voice.”
I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment.
“I was simply telling you that he’s not as much of an asshole as I’d originally thought,” I point out to my friend. “It’s not like I was saying he was the love of my life or anything. I’m not an idiot.”
“I know you’re not an idiot,” she says in a voice so calm and compassionate that I feel a twinge of guilt for having snapped at her. “Just…promise me you’ll keep reminding yourself that this is going to be a temporary thing, yeah?”
“Well, of course it’s going to be temporary. What, do you think I’m busy naming our future children or something? That I’m writing Mrs. Charlotte Blake all over my notebook? Come on.”
“I’m just saying. I know how you are, Charlotte. You’re a hopeless romantic.”
“Oh, shut up.” I punctuate this with a little laugh to take the sting out of my words.
Ignoring me, she goes on to say, “You know I love you and I think you’re incredibly beautiful and witty and smart, but the women Ryan Blake usually dates…”
Yeah, there is that.
Ryan hasn’t had very many long-term relationships (big surprise there) but the ones that have lasted long enough for the press to find out about have been with Victoria’s Secret models and Hollywood actresses.
I’d have to be crazy to think that a guy who dates models and movie stars would ever want to settle for a normal girl like me—a bookworm and a homebody who could stand to lose a few pounds.
“I know, Tracy. Believe me, I know. You don’t have to worry about me falling for Ryan Blake. Honest.”
“Well…okay. Just promise me you’ll keep this in mind if you find yourself getting caught up in the moment and envisioning a future with him.”
“I will.”
“And call me if you need to talk about anything, whether you feel like you’re falling for him or if you just want to share the steamy details of your sexy escapades!” she says with a laugh.
I can’t help but laugh, too. “Thanks, lady. I certainly will.”
After we get off the phone, I ask myself if Tracy was right. Was a part of me developing real feelings for Ryan?
No.
No way.
Just because I think he’s a decent guy (as opposed to the insufferable asshole I thought he was when we first met) doesn’t mean I’m falling in love with him.
Not a chance.
I’m just excited about the promise of more sexy escapades. That’s all.
10. RYAN
It’s only 9:00 in the morning, but you can