Free Death Screams by Tamara Rose Blodgett Page B

You're worried about my dog?!"
    " Language," Mom trumpeted from the front door.
    The J's walked over to see what the deal was and the smell from Bry's car was eye-watering worthy.
    Bry pleaded with his eyes not to be hung out to dry with the Hot Mia around.
    No dice.
    " Having trouble with the beans, Weller?" Jonesy chortled.
    Bry's neck suffused with a dull brick color that begun at his neck and worked up to the tops of his ears. "Payback is a bitch, Jones," he growled.
    " Yeah, but its righteous at the moment."
    Mia strolled by and Bry died a little more. "What's that awful smell?" she waffled her hand back and forth in front of her nose. "Is there a septic leak?" she asked innocently as Bry pressed his forehead into the steering wheel in defeat.
    John was holding his ribs, tears running down his face.
    " Easily amused, Terran?" Jonesy asked.
    That made John laugh harder.
    " Like you've never had an ass-trumpet, Jonesy?" Alex asked reasonably.
    " Who has ass-trumpets?" Sophie asked.
    " All the guys... but it sounds like right now the main problem is with the J's and my brother," Tiff elaborated, her face an evil girl mask.
    Hell.
    " Ew, gross," Sophie and Mia said, walking to her car and casting glances of disgust over their shoulders.
    " Chicks don't fart?" I asked to no one in particular.
    " Ya ever hear one do it?" Jade asked, her hands on her hips, her green eyes flashing.
    " No!" I stuttered, caught.
    " Well, there ya go!" she said as she stalked off. I guess she was riding with the girls. Go figure.
    Huh.
    *
    We stumbled out of Bry's car, grateful to finally arrive at Gramps. It was a solid thirty minutes from Kent and crammed into the discomfort of his car, it seemed like forever.
    Gramps was already outside, the Camaro up on metal ramps, his legs sticking out from underneath. He must've heard us roll up because he pushed off with his hands and rolled out from underneath the car. He sat up, planting his feet on either side of a board that looked like it was covered in carpet with four wheels on each corner. It looked ancient.
    Us guys came over and there were guy claps all around. A couple of my dudes staggered over the ones Gramps handed out. He stared at Lewis for a few seconds and stuck out his hand for a shake instead.
    " You gonna have that nose looked at son?"
    " Yes sir. I just haven't had an opportunity yet. My name's Lewis Archer."
    " Mac O'Brien. Nice to meetcha," Gramps said with a smile. "I can set that for ya."
    Lewis touched his nose lightly, then let his hand drop. Gramps wiped his hands off on his towel, grease falling away onto the cloth, making it have stripes.
    " I don't know..." he said, somewhere between trying to appease and outright terror.
    " Don't be a baby," Tiff said. "You can be gorgeous again, let Mac work ya over."
    Mac smiled, spreading his hands.
    " Okay," Archer said with the barest tremble in his voice.
    " Shouldn't we get an Organic?" John asked, the last voice of reason.
    " Nah, remember when I got nailed and Mac did my nose?" Bry reminded.
    Which time?
    " Not really, Bry," Jade said, her memory vague on which altercation that had been.
    He shrugged. "It works okay, look at my schnoz."
    We did. It was slightly crooked and had a bump in the middle.
    " Looks like hell, Bry," Jonesy said helpfully.
    Archer looked between Bry and Gramps. "I guess we can try, but I'd rather not have a nose like his."
    Bry huffed and Gramps said, "Adds character." Lewis flinched. "Just pulling your leg. His nose has been broke... " he looked at Bry.
    Bry held up three fingers.
    Wow.
    " See? Hard to keep fixing something that's found a pathway. Keeps getting re-broke and sliding into the same funkiness."
    My friends looked at him, trying to translate Gramps' odd way of talking.
    " Bry's had his nose broke enough times that whenever it happens again, it keeps going crooked the same way and it's become permanent," I said.
    Gramps looked at me like I was slow. "That's what I just said here."
    The J's