Free Castle War! by John Dechancie

but that never stopped me from conjuring something. Hold on.”  
    Linda closed her eyes and folded her arms.  
    Something clunked onto the table behind Jeremy. He turned and picked up a small device with a gauge and two wire leads.  
    â€œHey, this is one. Good work, Linda.”  
    â€œEasy. Give me something hard to do.”  
    Jeremy chuckled. “Why don't you conjure Incarnadine?”  
    Linda gave him a strange look. Jeremy turned around and did a take. “Wait a minute. Can you?”  
    Linda shook her head slowly. “I don't know. The thought's kind of scary.”  
    â€œWhy couldn't you?”  
    â€œI don't know of any reason, but then again I really never figured out just how I conjure anything. Gene says I must reach out into the universes and pull in stuff.”  
    â€œWhy couldn't you pull Incarnadine in?”  
    â€œGee, I just don't know. I'll have to think about this.”  
    â€œWhat would the danger be?”  
    â€œThere might not be any danger. But I just ... don't know .”  
    â€œWell, whatever you say. We'll go ahead with our original scheme, anyway. Let us know if you come up with anything.”  
    â€œI will. I'm going down to the dining hall again. Maybe they've found out about Thaxton and Mr. Dalton.”  
    â€œOkay, see you later.”  
    Linda left the room.  
    Isis smiled at Jeremy, got up, and sat in his lap.  
    â€œYou're so resourceful, so clever. So bright .”  
    â€œUh, thanks.”  
    â€œI like bright men.”  
    â€œYou do?”  
    â€œI do.”  
    â€œUm, well.”  
    â€œWhat's the matter, Jeremy. Don't you like me?”  
    â€œYeah! Sure I do.”  
    â€œThen what is it?”  
    â€œUh, nothing. It's just that women don't go for me much. I mean, well, you know.”  
    â€œNo, I don't.”  
    â€œI look like a twerp.”  
    â€œJeremy, why do you put yourself down?”  
    â€œI'm a nerd, let's face it.”  
    â€œAnd you don't think I could like you?”  
    Jeremy shook his head. “I used to dream about women like you. Hell, every guy does. You're like a centerfold.”  
    â€œWhy, thank you.”  
    â€œI mean it. You're beautiful. But I just can't believe that you're real.”  
    â€œBut I am.”  
    â€œYou're a computer program, for Pete's sake.”  
    â€œWhat difference does that make?”  
    â€œWhat difference? Well, I mean, you just don't go around making out with computer programs. A program is just a...”  
    â€œJust a pattern of information.”  
    â€œYeah. Just a pattern.”  
    â€œSo are you.”  
    â€œWhat do you mean?”  
    â€œYou're just a pattern of information, too. What makes you you is the configuration of data that's in your brain. Your brain is just holding the information, just like a storage device. No difference. Your pattern is stored in a body, mine in a computer.”  
    Jeremy was silent. Then he said, “I never thought of it that way.”  
    â€œWe're both software, Jeremy. Why can't we interface?”  
    â€œI guess ... well, maybe. But where did your body come from?”  
    She shrugged. “I guess you could say that my body is just a pattern of information, too. Everything is merely a configuration of data.”  
    â€œI don't get it. But I'll tell you one thing. I like your configuration a lot.”  
    She smiled and kissed him.  
    When she took her lips from his he said, “Why...” He took a deep breath. “Why do you like me?”  
    â€œI told you. I like bright men. Besides, you're a user, and I was created to serve users.”  
    Jeremy put his arms around her waist. “I still can't believe it. But I'm working on it.”  
    â€œLet's work on it together, Jeremy.”  
    â€œYeah,