Free All Falls Down by Ayden K. Morgen

or make it hurt any less. Toby hasn't come to see me once. Neither has Laney. They're the only two people I know in Italy, and they've betrayed and abandoned me to the tender mercies of a hospital staff speaking a language I barely understand.
    I just want out.
    I press my fingers to the glass.
    "Ms. Martin?"
    I drop my hand and turn to find Dr. Allegretti standing in the doorway to my room. His lab coat is pristine. His hair has too much gel. His teeth are too white. But he always looks at me as if he understands what I'm going through.
    That's almost worse than hearing him say I need time to heal.
    How could he possibly understand when I don't?
    I've spent the last two years of my life living under the thumb of a guy who slept with the only thing resembling a friend that I have in this country, and then dumped me off at the hospital and walked away. Said guy hasn't even called to see if I survived or not. Neither has said friend.
    No, Dr. Allegretti doesn't understand that.
    He can't.
    God, why am I still here?
    " I want to leave," I mutter when he crosses the threshold into my room.
    He glances between me and the chart in his hand and then nods once. "Maybe tomorrow."
    Maybe tomorrow. Right. He's said that every day this week.
    I turn back to the window and the city beyond.
    Even if he does discharge me, I have nowhere to go.
    Nowhere at all.
    I squeeze my eyes closed to block out the memories. I know why I'm here, but that doesn't really help settle me any. I feel useless. Guilty. Confused. It shouldn't be this hard to get it together, figure out what to do, and then do it. But some days, it's completely impossible. I'm weighed down with worry, and there's nothing I can do to ease any of it.
    I can't help the girls cope.
    I can't tell them everything will be okay.
    I can't even help myself or tell myself it will be okay. My insides are shredded, completely gutted. Toby's out of my life, and I'm beyond relieved… so why can't I breathe? Or relax? Why am I still looking over my shoulder? Still waking up in a cold sweat, thinking he's here, screaming at me again? Why do I feel like I'm falling apart?
    What is wrong with me?
    I turn away from the window and jump when I see Lexi standing behind me.
    "Lexi," I gasp, clutching a hand over my racing heart. "You scared me."
    "I'm sorry." She offers me a halfhearted smile, practically fidgeting where she stands in six inch heels. She's dressed in a long, stunning blue gown and matching wrap, her hair swept up in soft curls. She's beautiful, absolutely perfect for Jared.
    Guilt gnaws at me the instant I think his name, twisting in my stomach until I want to gag.
    "What's up?" I ask, trying to push through the sensation and smile.
    "I just wanted to let you know that Jared and I have to go to this function in Daddy's honor tonight. Would you mind staying in the main house with Kit and Maddi until we get home?"
    Jared won't be here.
    "Of course," I agree, barely containing a relieved sigh.
    "Thanks." Lexi smiles again and readjusts her shawl. "You have our cell numbers, right?"
    I nod. They're already programmed into the phone Jared gave me.
    "I'll make sure he sets the security alarm and Stewart closes the gates before we leave. We're only a few minutes away, so call if you need anything."
    "We'll be okay," I promise her.
    Her smile slips. She readjusts the shawl carefully, avoiding my gaze. I want to beg her to just tell me what's going on with her, but I might actually scream if she tells me it's nothing like she keeps telling Kit. I keep my mouth shut instead, and she grimaces.
    "I'm sorry. I just worry, you know? I don't know how to do this," she whispers. "I don't know how to be a mom and a CEO. I miss Daddy." Tears trickle down her face.
    My heart literally aches for her.
    I step forward and squeeze her hands. "You're doing great, Lexi. The girls are lucky to have you."
    She blows out a breath and nods before pulling her hands from mine and dashing at her eyes.
    I smile at her,