Free Breathe by Tracey E. Chambers

it, I was just going to have to fess up and tell him I didn’t have any money.  Before I could open my mouth, he added,
    “I hope you won’t mind, but this is my treat, okay?”  
    My sense of pride wanted me to refuse, but I knew I didn’t want to go home and face Jack yet.  A meal would mean a few more minutes of precious freedom. 
    “Sure. Thanks.” 
    There were a few kids in the diner that I recognized from school and a few even said “hello”.  They were looking at Logan when they said it.  It was ironic.  I went to the same school with these kids since elementary school and rarely exchanged more than two words with anyone.  Logan was here for a few weeks, and he was already making friends. 
    I firmly reminded myself that was the way I wanted it.  When you are in survival mode, friends are a luxury you cannot afford.  Now Logan was my friend. It was thrilling and terrifying at the same time. He was a risk I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take. 
    The food made it out pretty quickly, and we both dug in with gusto.  I made a mental note to pack a lunch for tomorrow.  It was one thing for me to suffer through missing lunch, but I could not let Logan starve every day just because he insisted on spending lunch with me.  Besides, now I didn’t have to eat alone anymore.  That thought warmed my heart more than I would ever care to admit to anyone.  In between bites Logan blurted out,
    “Do you want to hang out at my house today?  My dad is out of town, and we would have the place to ourselves.” 
    All my warm and fuzzy feelings about Logan managed to fly out the window in an instant.  I got up from the table and stormed out of the diner.  Angry tears welled up in my eyes as I ruthlessly swiped at them.  Luckily, the walk home wasn’t too far from the center of town.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!  What was I doing here?  I knew better!!!  I should have known all this nice guy crap was just a way to get me to have sex with him.  He must have thought I would be so grateful to have a guy like him pay any attention to me that I would fall into bed with him at a snap of his fingers.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!  Jack was right.  This guy just wanted one thing from me.  
    I hadn’t made it a block before I heard footsteps behind me. I guess I should’ve known he wasn’t giving up that easily.  I took a deep breath and deliberately slowed my pace.  I refused to back down or run from him like the scared little girl I felt like on the inside. 
    “Come on Beth.  I thought by now you would give me a little credit.  All I am asking from you is to spend some time with you to get to know you better.  If you don’t want to come to my house, we can hang out at the park or anywhere else you want to go.” 
    He sounded so sincere, I felt like an idiot.  In my world, assuming the worst made sure you were never disappointed.  Maybe I had misjudged his motives.  Maybe.  I decided a little brutal honesty was in order. 
    “Look, I assume the worst because that is what I’m used to Logan.  I’m not interested in a boyfriend, and I am NOT sleeping with you.  If that is what you want, you are wasting your time.” 
    He nodded towards the gazebo in the middle of the square,
    “Okay, that’s fair enough.  Can we just sit down and talk?  Don’t I deserve a chance to defend myself?” 
    My reply was to cross the street and make my way to the gazebo.  Logan followed a couple of steps behind and we sat on a bench beside the fountain.  I wasn’t brave enough to look at him, so I focused on a couple of kids kicking a soccer ball around at the park right next to us.  We sat there for a couple of minutes before Logan spoke. 
    “I like you, a lot.  I am not interested in you because I want to get laid.  Sorry if it sounds conceited but there are girls in this school that I could easily get that from.  When I do go that far, it is going to be with someone I am spending the rest of my life