Free Every One Of Me by Jessica Wilde Page B

white pill, and
handed it back to her to lock up in the safe at the back of her closet.
"No." Then I popped the pill in my mouth and took a long drink of
water out of the glass she handed me.
    "Later," she repeated with a big smile, then she
walked out of the room.
    I took off the cardigan I had put on to hide the marks on my
arms. I wasn't upset or resentful about them. I would rather end up with a few
bruises than hurt someone or myself even worse. I pulled back the white
comforter on my bed and climbed in. The pharmacist said the drug would start to
work after a few minutes, so I stared up at the ceiling and waited. Charlie
kept popping into my head and pissing me off more than usual. I thought of that
morning's braless encounter and felt the embarrassment all over again.
    I tried to picture Benny's face in my mind and closed my
eyes. I would miss waking up to her and seeing the silly expression on her face
before she dove into telling me what I missed. She could talk for hours if you
let her, and I usually did. She would always start by asking, "Who the
hell are you today?" She usually started every day with that question and
I didn't realize how much I looked forward to it until I moved back home.
    For some reason, that question kept me grounded. Probably
because the only answer I ever remembered giving her was "Tess, who
else?"
    I started to feel the heaviness take over my body and I
welcomed it for the first time in a long time. I hadn't ever taken a
sedative willingly until today. I usually woke up and found out that I had been
given one by way of needle. Benny occasionally had to calm me down when I woke
up. She agreed that it sucked to be knocked out, but convinced me it was
necessary sometimes. She would describe in detail everything I did just before
being sedated anytime she was there to witness it, which was often. It was hard
to believe her. I just couldn't see me doing those things or saying the things
I had apparently said.
    She started keeping a calendar for me and marking my
switches on it. She said it was just for fun, but she knew how much it helped
me. She said it helped the alters, too, whenever I would switch, which had been
quite often at first. I always felt better after looking at the calendar and
seeing more boxes without marks than with marks. Sometimes I thought Benny
helped me more than any of the doctors or nurses. She accepted everything about
me and I think that's why we were allowed to be roommates for so long. She was
just her and I was just me, and it worked.
    Just before I sank into oblivion, Charlie's blushing face
came into my mind again and I admitted that I wanted to see him again, but only
for a minute.
    Honestly.

Chapter 7
    Charlie
    Please be wearing a bra, please be wearing a bra.
    I had repeated this request about 16 times before I knocked
on the front door of the Marshall's. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see
Tess like that every day. She was beautiful in the morning with her hair all
over the place and her clothes all jumbled. However, it was frustrating as hell
when there were other people around and she wasn't ready for me to go all
caveman on her.
    Sarah opened the door with a frown and all my senses perked
up. "Good morning, Charlie. It's good to see you again."
    "Is everything alright?" I asked, stepping forward
and looking around the house for anything suspicious.
    "Yes, everything's just fine," she muttered and
stomped toward the kitchen.
    "I don't believe you, Sarah." She was easy to read
as Tess had always been, but Sarah leaned a little more on the dramatic side
when she was upset about something.
    She stopped abruptly and shook her head as she turned
around. "She's still asleep!" Her arm shot out and pointed up the
stairs. "She took that pill at 5 o'clock yesterday and she is still out
like a light. I told her I wasn't comfortable with it, but noooooo, she just
had to take it. 'It's just a precaution' she says!" It was always weird
when Sarah used her quote