Free Shadows in Me by Culine Ramsden

you did. I hope you understand that.”  I felt that sting in my heart again, thinking back to that dreadful day.  If it wasn’t for Brent, I would not be here today.  My mind was somewhere else; I was pouring the hot water into our cups and almost burnt myself. I would have if Brent hadn’t grabbed the kettle out of my hands. 
    “Caitlin, you ok.” 
    “Sorry, just got a little distracted.”
    Brent placed his hands over mine, his calming touch was just the trigger to push me over, tears rolled down my cheeks. 
    “Hey, why the tears?”  Brent turned me around to face him; he placed his finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at him. 
    “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be such a baby, the memories of that day, it just gets to me sometimes. I thought I loved him, I thought he loved me, I was such a fool, if you didn’t do what you did.”  I tried to be strong but my emotions were all over the show, and being sick just made it all worse. 
    Brent let go of my face and put his arms around me.  He pulled me against his chest hugging me tightly to his body. I put my arms around him and held on.  The flood gates opened and I cried, again. I finally let go of all the guilt and pain I had been feeling.  Brent scooped me into his arms and carried me to the couch. 
    After what felt like a lifetime, I finally composed myself and was able to talk again.  We spoke about everything.  He told me about his mom and the abuse in his childhood, the reason he saw the signs between Hunter and I in school, the reason he felt so protective over me then already.  He told me how he felt when Vincent had told him I was missing, and then finding me with Hunter.  I could see the pain in his eyes; he felt that he had let me down.  He also told me a little bit about his time in Africa, and the friends he had lost. 
    Before we knew it, it was already after one in the morning.  I had to be at work at seven, sick or not. Chef Nathaniel would not take kindly to me being off after a weekend of “drinking”.  He was at the club on Friday night, and had seen us partying.  
    After Brent left, I locked up and headed to bed. I grabbed my phone off the table and saw that I had 3 missed calls, two from Vincent and one from Heather.  I listened to the voice calls.
    Vincent:  You must be asleep already, I hope you feel better in the morning, and remember to take your medication.  I love you my angel, we will be together soon.  Get better; I will try call you again in the morning. 
    Heather:  Hello dolly, where are you? Vincent just got back and said you’re still not feeling too great.  Give me a call so we can chat, I’m very interested to know what’s happening your side. From what I can see you didn’t tell him Brent is in town.  I hope you know what you are doing? 
    I placed the phone on the nightstand before taking a shower.  I knew Heather was right, I needed to tell Vincent about Brent. But then again, I would only be in town for another month.  Maybe I could keep the two of them apart for that long.  I didn’t want to cause unnecessary unhappiness?  What was wrong with us being friends? Why should Vincent have a problem with it? I wasn’t doing anything wrong, we were just friends. Was I not allowed to have friends? I knew I was just trying to justify not telling Vincent about Brent.   I took my medication like a good girl and climbed into bed.  I knew I better text Vincent good night; if I phoned him, he would pick up that I was hiding something from him by my voice. 
    Me:  I’ve taken my medication and getting back into bed. Thank you for the message, sorry I missed your call. 
    Almost immediately I got a text back. 
    Vincent:  Good girl. Hope you feel better soon, love you like crazy. 
    Me.  Love u 2
    I set my alarm and placed my phone on the nightstand.  I wouldn’t be going for my run in the morning, but there was no way of getting out of work. 
    I had a surprisingly restful sleep,