Free The Alien King and I by Lizzie Lynn Lee Page A

cause someone’s brain to go funky as
if they were on an acid trip. Maybe I had fainted. Or maybe this
was Carrie’s joke. She laced my drink and I had passed out and this
hunk-o-steel swiped me to this place to be entertained. Well,
har-de-har-har, happy birthday to me. I wouldn’t mind a little
joke. Lord “Steve” Fai here was one delicious bite of temptation no
woman could resist. Hallelujah.
    Fai opened a drawer and extracted a
silvery, tall can. He opened another drawer and took out a glass.
His movement was deft as I ogled him opening the silver can and
pouring the contents into the glass.
    “ Here, drink it. I want you
sober while consummating our bond.”
    I snickered. “Do I have to pay you
extra for the consummation service or does it come with the whole
package?”
    His eyes narrowed, the silvery-blue
irises blazing “I do not understand your question,
woman.”
    “ Sure.” I looked around.
“Where do you keep the anal probe by the way?”
    His puzzled look was very adorable.
Man, he was good at faking the whole “alien” thing.
    “ Drink.” Fai thrust the
glass into my hand. “When you are done, come to the bedchamber and
disrobe. We shall go forth with the consummation.”
    “ Wait, aren’t you going to
dance and strip first?”
    “ Why on Elerian’s moon
would I dance and strip?”
    I blinked. “Are you a stripper, or
actually an escort?” I heard some strippers only strictly
entertained, but some were willing to go beyond the grey line. Now,
I had no idea what kind of adult entertainer I was dealing
with.
    “ I am Fairoh du Urugna,
Lord of Stinani, Vanou, Edora-”
    “ Fedora, fishing bait,
yeah, yeah. Your titles are longer than Titles-R-Us.”
    “ As my mate, I expect you
to show some manner of respect since I will be your lord husband as
soon as our relationship is consummated.”
    “ Aww, you’re mad. Does this
mean we’re going to have some, growly angry sex?” I had to admit,
the idea appealed to me.
    Fai, apparently, had had enough of my
smart mouth. He grabbed me around the waist and flung me across his
shoulder as if I were a sack of potatoes. My field of vision did a
bungee jump before my face hit his metallic armored back. The glass
in my hand slipped and fell with a loud crash, shattering on the
kitchen floor into thousands of crystal pieces.
    “ Hey!” I protested. “Put me
down, asshole. I’m going to be sick if you carry me like
this.”
    Fai ignored me. He strode to the other
room like a soldier marching home from a victorious battle,
carrying me as if I was his plunder. I told him to stop. My
protests fell on deaf ears. He only stopped after we entered a room
that was plastered with tiny tiles from floor to ceiling. The tiles
looked like gemstones that had been cut square and polished until
they gleamed. They glowed red, blue, amber, emerald and many more
shades I couldn’t identify.
    He put me back on my feet and I
staggered. “Dude,” I warned him. “Don’t do that again. You made me
dizzy.”
    Fai only sniffed haughtily. Before I
could do anything other than steady my balance, Fai dragged me to
stand under a large, round silver disk that hung from the ceiling.
A heartbeat later, the disk sprayed water like a downpour. I gasped
wide-eyed and shuddered. The water was fucking cold.
    I lurched aside like a cat avoiding
its archenemy, but Fai yanked me back under the shower. No matter
how hard I struggled to escape the embrace of the shower of ice,
Fai managed to get me back under it effortlessly. He was stronger
than I expected.
    “ Fine!” I yelled. “But this
isn’t sexy at all. I want my money back.”
    “ But it does get you sober,
does it not?”
    He had a point. The nice buzz that I’d
gotten from the alcohol had evaporated as soon as the forty-degree
water hit my head. I shivered like a wet dog and was more miserable
than a cat trapped in a tin can. Fai took off his metal gloves and
flung them on the floor. They clanked with loud noise. He