Free The Darkest of Shadows by Lisse Smith Page A

then, this.” He traced a hand down my stomach, and then his lips found mine; and he told me in another manner just how much he liked what he saw. He had stamina, I’d definitely give him that. To back up that soon and with that much enthusiasm was impressive and deeply satisfying.
    I must have fallen asleep, because one moment we were talking quietly, his arms wrapped around me as we lay on the lounge, and the next moment he was rocking me gently awake.
    “Wake up, sleepyhead,” he whispered quietly.
    I sat up, somewhat groggily. “What time is it?”
    “Sadly, time for both of us to leave, or we’re going to have some uncomfortable explaining to do.”
    “Crap.” I really would have rather stayed asleep.
    “I have to agree with you there,” he said. “I’d rather stay right here, maybe move up to one of the corporate apartments because there’s a much more comfortable bed up there, but somehow I don’t think you’d be in on it with me.”
    I shot him an amused glance. “Nice try.”
    I stood up from the lounge and walked naked over toward the windows. That’s one thing that I am not—a prude. I like nakedness, always have, and it’s one of the few things in my life that I’ve managed to retain over the last few years. Bodies are beautiful in their most basic form, and I have no problem with how mine looks; and trust me, looking at Patrick’s nakedness was far from a trauma for me.
    It was just coming on toward dawn, so the lights of the city were dimmed, and the horizon was stained with a lightness that promised much more to come. Arms wrapped around me from behind as Patrick planted a long, delicious kiss on the back of my neck.
    “Tomorrow is a bad day for you.” He wasn’t asking a question, it was more an observation.
    I nodded.
    “Do you want me to stay?” he asked quietly.
    “No,” I answered immediately. “No,” I repeated, and he let it go at that. That was probably why I allowed this thing between us to happen. He didn’t push me, and he didn’t ask me questions. He just waited for me to tell him when I was ready. He was a patient man.
    He dropped me at my house as the sun took hold of the city. He kissed me long and thoroughly as we stood on the doorstep of my unit. Then, with his hands clasped on either side of my face, he whispered, “I’m not asking for anything, Lilly.” I watched as his car disappeared around the corner.
     
TEXT:
  
I slept with Patrick.
REPLY:
  
WHAT?
TEXT:
  
i know, i know
REPLY:
  
How do we feel about this?
TEXT:
  
Im not sure.
REPLY:
  
can you tell me when you know so then i will know
TEXT:
  
i think im OK. Hes very patient and doesnt want to understand everything
REPLY:
  
thats good i guess
TEXT:
  
thats about all i can manage
REPLY:
  
thats good enough. If he wants more then he isnt right for u.
TEXT:
  
i dont love him
REPLY:
  
does he make u happy
TEXT:
  
sometimes
REPLY:
  
Then just go with that for the moment. Love comes later
TEXT:
  
not for me it doesnt
REPLY:
  
yeah ur probably right
TEXT:
  
go back to sleep
REPLY:
  
turn ur phone back on when ur ready to talk
TEXT:
  
k

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    Five
    I didn’t see Patrick again for three days. Christmas day, my bad day, fell on Thursday, and with boxing day and the fact that he went to Spain and then the added bonus of my phone being turned off I didn’t hear from him again until Sunday.
    He left me numerous voicemail messages, which I didn’t get until I turned my phone back on Saturday night. Each one of his messages grew more and more anxious the longer it went without a response. I wasn’t ready to deal with the world just yet so I let it go and promised myself that I’d call him in the morning.
    Apparently he wasn’t prepared to wait that long, as I was woken very early Sunday morning by the noise of someone’s finger pressed almost continually on the intercom for my apartment.
    I struggled out of bed and peered groggily out the window to see a