Free Full Measure [Mastering Holly Oaks] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) by Rayna Stone

be okay because the love of this man will hold me safe. It’s an inadequate way to describe it, I guess, but it’s the most freeing experience.” Jay looked sheepish, and his voice was starting to crack.
    “No, Jay. I think that was the most wonderful explanation for anything I’ve ever heard. You have a beautiful soul.” Kat could feel a stream of tears roll down her face for this amazing man. He had so much emotion for one so strong. She realized that this wasn’t going to be a game for her in any way. She was falling in love with these men.
    Jay released her hand to cup her face. He tilted his head until his forehead rested on hers. “Thank you, sugar.” He rubbed his nose to hers. Though it was such a simple show of affection, it was more powerful than she could have dreamed. Then he pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss. This was not about sex, this was about love.
    It took Kat a moment to gather herself. She realized that because of the very nature of a D/s relationship, trust, honesty, truly connecting to your partner, she was learning more about these two men than she had learned about Mark after years of commitment. This wasn’t about handcuffs and spankings. They may be a tool, but the real foundation to all of this was truly meeting another’s needs. Understanding them. It was beautiful.
    “I think I’m starting to understand the psychology here, and I know it will take time to find my place, but I have one more question. Just a curiosity, really.”
    Mac nuzzled the top of her head and quietly chuckled. “Pet, you can ask anything you want.”
    “Subspace. I’ve researched a little about it. I thought a sub reached subspace when their brain released endorphins in reaction to pain? But Jay said he can get there just from kneeling and breathing. That doesn’t make sense. And will I ever get there if I don’t like pain?” She really wanted to know what that felt like, but she really didn’t like pain. Can we say conundrum?
    “Ah, pet, I love how inquisitive you are,” Mac said with a smile. “Your research was partly right. Subspace is like a natural high. When the brain is flooded with endorphins, you feel floaty, a bit out of yourself, not much unlike some chemical highs. Often, a sub will get there during a scene through pain. The brain does release endorphins in response to painful stimuli. There are some people who achieve this in other ways, though. People who practice yoga, meditation, or deep breathing sometimes find they experience what we call subspace. Jay can get there either way. I’ve even seen subs go under from bondage alone. I’m not saying everyone can experience it, but I’ll do my damnedest to get you to fly, pet.”
    Well, okay then. Enough said.
    For the next two hours they talked at the table. Sometimes the conversation was serious, often just flirtatious and fun. Kat remained in Mac’s lap, and Jay sat close, always touching her in some way. Her breathing accelerated when Jay slipped his hand from her knee up the inside of her thigh. Jesus. The heat she felt from him was amazing. She stared in his eyes as he started to alternate between gentle squeezes on her thigh and long strokes up and down. He practically had his hand up her dress, and she could care less. In fact, she spread her legs under the tablecloth a bit wider, because if he didn’t touch her soon, she might die.
    Mac had one arm around her stomach, his hand resting on her hip. His thumb was painting circles over the silk of her dress. The other hand came up to ghost over her collarbone. When he started to slide down the center of her cleavage, he pressed a kiss to the pulse point at her neck. Holy God. She no longer noticed anyone else in the room. She was breathing heavy and her breasts started to swell. When Mac sucked on her neck, she felt him move his hand over to cup her breast. Her nipples were so hard they were aching. She jumped a little when his thumb started to circle her areola. She