Free Swear to Howdy by Wendelin Van Draanen

Georgia, or (d) South Carolina.”
    Wheels were spinnin' like mad inside Sissy's skull. “Virginia!” she said, all full of sass.
    Mama looked at her and bit her lip.
    Dad looked at Mama and said, “It's South Carolina, isn't it?”
    Mama nodded at him.
    “Well shoot!” Sissy said. “You got me all nervous, insultin' me like that. What do you expect?”
    Mama went back to the paper. “Okay, well… What was Ulysses S. Grant doing when the war broke out? (a) Attending West Point, (b) Conferring with Abraham Lincoln, (c) Working in a leather shop, or (d) Vacationing in Maryland.”
    “Attendin' West Point!” Sissy shot out.
    Dad shrugged.
    I was clueless, too.
    But Mama had the answers. “No, Jenna. He was working in a leather shop.”
    “So those must've been two of the ones I missed! Besides, you get your head chuck full of information for a particular
day
. When that day's over, you let it go. You expect me to go through my whole life with Civil War trivia stuck in my brain?”
    Mama just ignored her and read from the paper. “In what state did the Battle of Fredericksburg take place? (a) Virginia, (b) Tennessee, (c) Mississippi, or (d) Pennsylvania.”
    “Which battle?”
    “Fredericksburg.”
    “What states?”
    “Virginia, Tennessee, Mississippi, or Pennsylvania.”
    Sissy straightened her posture. “Pennsylvania!”
    Dad's eyebrow shot up. “Isn't it Virginia?”
    Mama nodded.
    “Everyone knows that… !” he said, looking dis-believingly at Sissy. “Even I know that.”
    “But, Daddy! I'm all panicked from the accusation! You can't expect me to
think
like this!”
    Mama ran through about ten more questions.
    Sissy got only one right.
    “Enough,” Dad finally said. “It's clear as day you cheated.” His nose was flaring. His lips were tight. He hadn't touched his barbeque. “You are grounded, young lady.”
    “But, Daddy… !”
    He stood halfway up and pointed a finger at her. “You're
grounded
, and… and I don't know what else. Your mama and I are going to have to discuss it.”
    Sissy started crying. “But, Daddy… it was an impossible test! Mr. Hickle's a war
nut
. Nobody could pass that thing!”
    Mama folded up the test and let it drop to the floor beside her. “In addition to the disappointment and embarrassment, Jenna Mae, you might've cost me my job.”
    “Get those clothes your mama bought you and bring them here!” Dad hollered.
    “But, Daddy!”
    “Bring them here!”
    Sissy got up, quivering. “But, Daddy, I wore an outfit to school today!”
    Dad took a deep breath. “It'll be the last time you wear it, Jenna. And the rest is going back to the store.”
    “But—”
    “
Get
!” Mama and Dad cried together.
    Sissy brought the clothes out, then got sent back to her room without supper. Shortly after, Mama and Dad shoved back from the table and went to discuss things out on the porch.
    Which left me and my growling stomach alone with a table full of scrumptious barbeque.
    Some times life's more fair than others.

10
THE GHOST OF LOST RIVER
    Mama was mortified, but she did not lose her job.
    Sissy stayed grounded, couldn't ride to school or back with anybody but Mama, and had to take the Civil War test over again.
    Amanda Jane must've done some fancy dancin' at home, though, 'cause she did
not
get grounded and got to
keep
her car. The only thing she couldn't seem to worm out of was retaking the test.
    It wouldn't be the same test, either. Mr. Hickle was making up a brand-new one just for the two of them. “Bound to be twice as tough as the first one,” Mama warned.
    And that meant studying for real, but they weren't allowed to do
that
together, either. Oh, it would've been okay with Mrs. Banks, but Mama said no way.
    Sissy did plenty of whining about it, saying how Mama and Dad were being overly hard on her, pointing out how Amanda Jane still had all her privileges, so why couldn't she?
    Mama just counted to ten and said, “I can see thelesson hasn't sunk in yet,