Free Heart on a Shoestring by Marilyn Grey Page A

it. After all these years, he came back. I thought about him so often, wondering if we’d reunite and hit it off. Wondering if he’d be the one I’d give my heart to.
    Me: Oliver?? From the beach??
    Oliver: Yes. It’s me. Look, I’m really sorry I never called.
    Me: I didn’t think you actually would. Why are you now?
    Oliver: I know we had a typical beach fling, and most people never talk again. I haven’t been able to stop thinkin about you since. I know it’s been years. I just found your number when I was packing up to move. Can we meet up?
    Me: I’m not interested in flings.
    Oliver: Me neither.
    Me: Then what?
    Oliver: I want to see you.
    Me: We barely know each other. It was one night. One kiss.
    Oliver: Can we meet and see?
    Miranda: It’s late. I will text you tomorrow. Are you visiting from the UK?
    Oliver: I’m here in the States for good now.  
    Only me. Only in my life would the guy I dreamt about for years come back and want to see me. Exactly like I always imagined and hoped. At exactly the wrong time. I didn’t wash my shirt for weeks when I came home from the beach that year. Smelled his Tommy Hill cologne as I slept for days on end.
    Oliver?
    Really?
    Oh dear. I propped my hot pink leg up on my bed and called Heidi. The only person I could trust with the details of my heart.
    She answered. We got by on small talk for a few minutes, then I unveiled my heart. “Derek took me to this amazing place. Like a surreal escape from the world. Something I’ve only dreamed of seeing. Here’s the thing, though. I think I started to fall in love with him.”
    “And that’s bad?” she said. “You guys have been destined to fall in love since you first met. What’s taking so long for you to realize that?”
    “I can’t, Heidi.” I took a deep breath and surprised myself when a tear fought it’s way to my cheek. “He’s so closed off. Something’s not right. And we’re such great friends. He’s my best friend, really. I’ve never been so close to another person. Every person I’ve dated falls out of love with me or realizes he never loved me in the first place. I’m so scared he will do the same and I can’t bear the thought of not having him in my life at all.”
    “I don’t think you can compare Derek to your exes.”
    “I’m not so sure.”
    “He’s so much more mature.”
    “He is, but I don’t know. I don’t trust him in that way.”
    “Do you trust anyone?”
    I didn’t know how to answer that. I trusted myself. My ability to protect my heart from real pain by giving it to guys who I didn’t like all that much to begin with. No strings attached.
    “Well?” she said.
    “I like falling in love without the pressure of commitment. I get to experience the fun beginning stage over and over without the blood, sweat, and tears.”
    “You realize how horrible that sounds, right?”
    Not sure I did.
    “Miranda, I’m saying this because I love you, but that is insanely selfish of you. To spend your life giving guys the wrong impression just so you can feel fuzzy sensations and not get your heart broken if they cheat on you. Do you really want to end up single in your forties, still going from man to man, all because you fear arguments and conflicts?”
    I tried to swallow her words, but they got stuck in my teeth. “I don’t fear conflict.”
    “Yes, you do. You fear that you’ll actually give your heart to someone and he’ll give it back when things get tough.” Riley babbled in the background. “Patrick and I rarely argue, but when we do it’s short-lived. When you love someone you want to work it out. Whatever it takes.”
    “I’m not good at conflict.”
    “Yeah. You run away and hide behind closed doors, then sweep it under the rug.”
    “You make me sound so desirable.”
    “We all have our cobwebs.”
    “There’s this other guy though. I met him when I was at the beach for senior week years ago. I know, I know, but it was actually really sweet. We stayed up