Free Firebird (The Flint Hills Novels) by Janice Graham

medical center at K.U. Ethan's good sense got the better of him, and he returned to his office and took the call. From his window he watched Mrs. Zeldin walk down the street, her violin case in her hand.
    December was a tumultuous month for Ethan. The foundation for his house was laid, and because the weather had continued to be mild, with only a few cold spells and one brief snow, he was able to start construction. Katie Anne set the date of their wedding for April 23, and the preliminary guest list totaled 430 guests. Ethan tried to stay out of it as much as possible, but whenever there was a disagreement between Katie Anne and her mother, he was dragged in to cast the deciding vote. At first he tried to give his honest opinion on things, but he soon learned the best strategy was to side with his fiancée. However, all this was no more than petty and worrisome; Ethan's real tribulation began one evening when Paula called from California just as he was leaving the office to say their son, Jeremy, had run away from home.
    When he got home, he found Katie Anne on the telephone in a heated dispute with the wedding planner. Even after hanging up she was so self-absorbed that he couldn't bear to open up to her Jeremy. So he began grilling the steaks and had a few beers while she made more calls, and only when they sat down to dinner did she notice his mood and ask if something was wrong. When he told her what had happened, she paused, holding her fork in midair, and said sweetly, "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. But you know he'll come back. It's just a phase," and went on to ask him if his sister would be able to come in from Abilene for the wedding shower.
    That's when the nagging began to come back. The same uneasiness that had stayed with him for so long after the death of his father. He recognized it instantly, like an old injury that flares up with a sudden change in the weather, but this time he had nothing to hide behind. He remembered the way Katie Anne had treated his father's illness and death as a minor disturbance, and his instinct told him to expect little depth of understanding where his son was concerned. She was no longer a distraction for his pain but neither had she become a balm.
    Ethan sat up late into the night watching basketball on cable. He called Paula twice to see if she had any news, but the second time she was so angry and full of hurtful accusations that he didn't call again. He got online and checked flights but didn't book anything. He hated his indecisiveness and came to the conclusion that he was not only an absent father but a downright bad one. That all he was really good for on earth was raising cattle and drawing up deeds.
    The next day, Ethan had to drive into Wichita to take care of some business at the courthouse. He was lost in his thoughts, rehashing old arguments with his ex-wife, and he missed the turn onto Third Street and ended up on Central. The avenue took him past Saint Mary's Cathedral, where he and Paula had been married and Jeremy had been baptized and had taken his first communion. He hadn't driven past the Cathedral in years, and the fact that he'd fumbled his way down here on the tail of all the present turmoil struck him as more than coincidence. Whatever had brought him here, whether destiny, God or just plain lack of attention, he was struck by the fortuitousness of the incident. He pulled over to the curb and parked.
    His thoughts took him back to a letter his father had written him not long before he'd been diagnosed with cancer. He had written, "Ethan, I hope you'll find a way to return to the Holy Mother Church. I'd like to think you would do this in my lifetime. But you're a stubborn kid and I can't think you'd ever do anything like this because your dad asked you to do it. Besides, I really wouldn't want that anyway. You need to find your own way back."
    Ethan had never answered the letter, and his father never mentioned it again. Sometimes Ethan thought that if he had