Free Jerome Bixby's The Man from Earth by Richard Schenkman Page B

got the history chair at Stanford!
JOHN. I wish.
( HARRY hefts the plates. Tries to lighten it up:)
HARRY. Pork chops, tacos, tuna salad, and Pom. If we’d had time, we’d have done something more grandiose. Candlelight dinner at McDonald’s, strippers…
JOHN. (smiles) Pork chops will do. Thanks.
DAN. Art’ll be along, too. He’s… talking to a student.
(All generally acknowledge what Art is really up to.)
EDITH. (changing the subject) Is George taking over for you?
JOHN. Or Trimble. (looks at SANDY ) The Dean made up his mind yet?
SANDY. He hasn’t called.
( EDITH has spotted the “Van Gogh.” Stares, bends over for a closer look.)
EDITH. My God! What is this? It looks like a van Gogh, but I’ve never seen it before!
DAN. It can’t be an original.
JOHN. ’Course not. Just a gift.
EDITH. Still…it’s a superb copy. Contemporaneous, I think. (glances at JOHN ) May I?
(Off JOHN ’s nod, she picks up the painting reverently.)
EDITH (cont’d) These are the same stretchers van Gogh used.
DAN. Hey, there’s writing on the back, in French.
EDITH. (reading) “To my friend, Jacques Borne.” I wonder who he was.
JOHN. Somebody he knew, I guess.
HARRY. That’s a brilliant deduction.
( HARRY continues on into the house.)
EDITH. Surely you’ll have it looked at sometime. Appraised?
JOHN. Maybe sometime. I wouldn’t be interested in money for it.
( JOHN has been putting stuff into the wagon. EDITH gives him the painting. He puts it carefully in, slams the tailgate. )
JOHN (cont’d) That’s about it, for now. Come on inside?
(They walk toward the porch. EDITH looks back once.
The Van Gogh. JOHN calls out to HARRY :)
JOHN (cont’d) Just put the stuff in the kitchen. Electricity’s on, the gas is off.
(They enter the cabin. The room is barren of almost everything except furniture. Empty bookshelves, no pictures or knickknacks. A fire burns low in the fireplace.)
(People shed their jackets. HARRY unpacks food in the kitchen.)
(EDITH moves toward the kitchen, joining HARRY . SANDY moves near the fire, gazes absentmindedly.)
JOHN (cont’d) (to others) Get comfortable while you can. Furniture’s going this afternoon.
DAN. It’s been years since I sat on a floor. I’ve forgotten her name.
HARRY. It’s good for the back.
EDITH. Can we do yoga exercises?
HARRY. That’s even better.
( JOHN and DAN settle into chairs. A moment of silence. )
DAN. So you’re leaving good old We Teach U. Rather suddenly, you’ll admit. Truth time. Is there a problem, John?
( JOHN shakes his head.)
DAN (cont’d) You know we’d want to help.
JOHN. That’s appreciated. But, no, there’s no problem.
( SANDY ’s face shows concern, and a little resentment.)
DAN. Well, I guess I’m plain curious. Where are you going?
( JOHN indicates that he doesn’t know.)
HARRY. (still in kitchen) You’re giving up tenure?
DAN. – a decade of professorship, in line to chair the department, and you don’t know where you’re going? Now I am curious.
JOHN. Call it cabin fever. After a while my feet get itchy. I’ve done it before.
DAN. You’re too young to have done it before.
EDITH. (in kitchen) And he hasn’t aged a day in ten years!
Every woman on the faculty would give anything for his secret.
HARRY. (in kitchen) Is that what you’re after!
EDITH. (in kitchen) Oh, Harry, you stop that!
( SANDY has moved near a fine hunting bow, leaning by the door. A rack of arrows. Several packed boxes nearby. She leans over to pick it up. Tries the tension and winces.)
SANDY. Whoa! Can you pull this?
DAN. What do you hunt?
JOHN. Deer, mostly. Up around Big Bear.
HARRY. What – ?
( HARRY and EDITH return from the kitchen.)
DAN. Some people can’t bag a deer with a rifle and telescopic sight.
HARRY. With a bow and arrow ?
DAN. Good eating.
JOHN. The best. Wild game. It eats naturally, lives naturally –
( JOHN falls silent, hearing a motorcycle pulling up O. S. Opens the door, steps outside…
The motorcycle is turned off and we hear O.S. chatter as two