Free By Familiar Means by Delia James

you have to say to Annabelle, and things you need to decide.”
    â€œI’m sorry,” I breathed.
    â€œI hope we will be able to talk about this again,” she told me quietly. “But whatever decision you make, it is yours, and I do understand.”
    I left then, and quickly. Because I didn’t want to think about how I saw the tears standing out in my mentor’s bright, hard eyes.

8
    When I got outside, I found Grandma sitting in the driver’s seat of the Galaxie. She had her filmy scarf in both hands, but she wasn’t doing anything except staring at it.
    I climbed into the passenger seat. Alistair appeared between us.
    â€œMerow?” He head butted Grandma’s elbow. It didn’t work this time either.
    I tried putting my hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay, Grandma?”
    â€œNo,” she said quietly. “No, Anna, I don’t think I am.”
    â€œJulia shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”
    â€œBut she should have.” Grandma wound the scarf around her hands so tightly that for a minute I thought she was going to tear it in two. “That’s the problem. She was right, about everything. I did run away. I didn’t follow the first duty of a witch who has children. She
must
tell those children. She has to teach them at least enough that they won’t accidently harm themselves or the people around them.”
    â€œBut you didn’t know I’d inherited the magic. I never told you.”
    â€œMerow,” added Alistair.
    â€œThank you, Anna. Thank you, Alistair.” She patted my hand distractedly. “But I’m afraid that’s no excuse. I had plenty of opportunities while you were growing up to find out. I didn’t take any of them and I ignored the signs I did see.”
    My mouth went dry. Alistair climbed into my lap and turned in an uneasy circle. “You . . . you saw signs?”
    Grandma nodded and smoothed the scarf across her knee, only to bunch it up between her hands again. “I told myself I was imagining things. Your father was so very determinedly nonmagical, I came to believe none of you could have inherited any talent through him.”
    â€œWhy didn’t you say something?”
    â€œBecause Julia was right about something else,” she whispered. “I am a coward.”
    â€œYou are not! Grandma B.B., you are one of the bravest people I know!”
    â€œNo, I’m not. I, well, facing highway robbers is one thing, but my own family? That’s something else altogether. I couldn’t stand up to my mother during the feud, and then, when your father . . .” She swallowed. “When I tried to tell him about . . . things . . . he got so angry he threatened to cut me off from you four completely if I ever brought up witchcraft where you could hear it.”
    What was I going to say to that?
    â€œIt wasn’t his fault.” Grandma unwound the scarf and wound it back up again. “I waited too long, and I handled it badly. I had nothing ready to show him as proof. He’s so hardheaded, so practical . . . And the thought of losing touch with you and your brothers and sister . . . it was too much. So, I told myself that the magic must have ended with me. Or that if any of you really were talented, I would of course see it, or he would change his mind eventually. I told myself so many things I can’t remember them all.” She wiped her eyes. “But it all came down to the same thing. I would accept any nonsense as long as it would keep me from having to confront my son with what I knew to be the truth. I ran away from it. Just like I ran away from my home rather thanconfront Mother with her own outdated attitudes toward the true craft.
    â€œBut the worst part is knowing now that you suffered for what I did.”
    My throat tightened up and tears pressed hard against the backs of my eyes. I had no