Free Inspector Hobbes and the Blood: A Fast-paced Comedy Crime Fantasy (unhuman) by Wilkie Martin Page A

to ask, though I was sure I already knew.
    'An
officer named Hobbes brought you in. You're lucky to be alive but you'll be
alright. We'll keep you in for observation overnight, though I doubt there'll
be any problems. You'll probably cough a bit and you might feel a bit confused
during the next few hours.'
    'I've
been feeling a bit confused ever since I met Hobbes.'
    'You
know him then?' Doctor Finlay's voice registered surprise. 'He's obviously a
great bloke.'
    'Obviously.
What about my flat?'
    'I'm
afraid you don't have one anymore.'
    'What
happened?'
    'It
caught fire. You must know better than I how it might have started.'
    Maybe
the doc was right but I didn't wish to think about it. Not then.
    I
spent the rest of the day in hospital. Most of the time I was sleeping or
drinking pints of water to wash the smoke taint from my tubes. The rest of the
time seemed to involve me tottering round, looking for the bathroom. In my more
lucid moments I wondered where I might stay when it was time to leave.
    In
the early evening I had a visitor. It was Ingrid. She was looking very pretty
and worried and joy erupted at the sight of her. She sat beside me, asked how I
felt, patting my hand, making sympathetic noises, finally crushing me by saying
she couldn't stay long, as Phil was taking her to the opera. What a git he was.
    I
barely had a chance to say anything before she rose to leave. Then, as she
turned, she hesitated and handed me a carrier bag. 'Mr Witcherley asked me to
give you this.'
    Inside
were my cagoule, and a brown envelope.
    'Rex?
I didn't think he'd remember me. That's nice of him.'
    She
smiled. 'See you.'
    'Goodbye,
Ingrid. Thanks for coming.' I deflated as soon as she was out of sight.
    A couple of minutes later, I tore open the
envelope with a warm feeling of gratitude. Perhaps Rex wasn't as bad as I'd
thought.
    Dear Mr Capstan .
    It got up my nose that he'd got my name wrong,
and not for the first time.
    The
Sorenchester and District Bugle has been undertaking a review. As a result of
this, and because of your continued failure to produce requested articles on
time, I regret to inform you that your services are no longer required. Please
find enclosed a cheque for one month's salary in lieu of notice. Many thanks
for your contribution and get well soon.
    Yours,
    Rex
Witcherley.
    I'd
never exactly been a high-flyer, yet the thud of my ego hitting rock bottom
left me stunned. I had no job, no home, no girlfriend and, I realised, no
clothes, apart from a short cagoule. At least things couldn't get any worse.
    Rock
bottom split apart and plunged me into Hell.
    'Evening,
Andy. How are you?' asked Hobbes cheerfully, approaching.
    'Not
bad,' I said. 'More like bloody awful.'
    'I'm
sorry to hear that. Dr Finlay informed me you were on the mend.'
    I
was ashamed. After all, Hobbes had saved my life, such as it was. Still, I couldn't
help but feel he was partly to blame for my misfortunes and that, if I'd died,
things might have been better. No matter how hard I tried to look on the bright
side, I couldn't see round the dark side. 'I'm sorry,' I said, 'but the last
couple of days have been a bit traumatic. I didn't have much and now I've got
nothing. I've got nowhere to live, Ingrid's going to the opera with Phil and
I've just been sacked.'
    Hobbes
shrugged. 'Don't despair,' he said. 'Adversity often brings out the best in
people. You'll be alright, your friends will help out.'
    That
didn't improve my state of mind, merely bringing home the fact that I had no
friends, not real ones, anyway. Apart from Ingrid and some blokes I sometimes
talked to in the pub, there was no one to turn to.
    'Anyway,'
he continued, 'you'll be out of here in the morning and you'll have to stay
with someone until you can sort out another place.'
    I
tried to think. There were my parents of course. They would take me in. She'd
be delighted to have me to mother again. She meant well but it had been such a
struggle to escape her stifling affections the