Free Protector Of The Grove (Book 2) by Trevor H. Cooley

vista before him and forced a smile. “How could I not love it here?”
    “ It’s boring, Willy ,” grumbled the imp.
    Willum’s smile slid. “It might look that way now, but you should see it in the spring when the crops are sprouting and the grass has grown. This place comes to life, Theodore.”
    “ Does it? Ho! Probably smells like manure .”
    Willum frowned. He was right about that part. “I wasn’t talking about the smell.”
    “ Ho, then, the sights! Green fields! Green trees! Green flies. Workers who had too much to drink the night before green-faced after smelling the green cow pies. Once you’ve seen one stretch of human farmland, you’ve seen them all .”
    “It sounds to me like you’d be bored anywhere,” Willum said grumpily. The imps constant prodding was not helping his mood. “I tell you I enjoy farm life.”
    “ Pfft! Farm life. Willy, if it’s farms you want, you should visit the elf homelands .” 
    Willum stopped walking as the imp pushed a vision into his mind, a tantalizing glimpse of a forest scene so lush it took his breath away.
    “ See it? Ho! Sprawling orchards of fruit bearing trees tended by proud elves who lovingly urinate on them every day so that each fruit thrums with magic power .” The scene in Willum’s mind shifted to a place dark and full of mystery. “ Or there’s the Kobald mushroom farms. Deep underground they are. Vast caverns of glowing funguses, Willy. Each variety has different flavors and textures and effects on one’s senses .”
    “I get it,” Willum said.
    The imp shifted the scene again. “ Or there’s the man-farm in Khalpany. It’s an orcish city where humans are raised for amusement. Ho-ho, the finest brothels are there, Willy, along with enormous arenas for blood sport and marketplaces with food vendors that sell man flesh cooked in every way imaginable -.”
    “Ugh, Theodore. Stop there,” Willum said, grimacing in distaste.
    Reluctantly, the imp let the vision dissipate. “ The point is, Willy, there is a whole world to visit and explore. Ho, why spend your short human life stuck in this one place ?”
    With a frown, Willum started walking again. “Don’t flood my head with visions, alright? When you were doing that I couldn’t see or hear anything else. I was just standing here in the middle of the road. What if a wagon ran me down? What if I were attacked?”
    “ Willy, Willy, Willy, ” the imp laughed. “You might not be able to see, but I can. I was watching the road and fields all around you. I wouldn’t let you get killed, no matter how funny a story it would make .”
    Willum snorted. “That doesn’t keep every worker and farm hand in the fields from seeing me standing here in the middle of the road, vacant-eyed and drooling like a fool.”
    “ Ho-ho! Why so selfish, Willy ?” the imp said disapprovingly.“ Those men need to find their amusement somewhere in their manure-laden lives, don’t you think ? I mean, they already look at you funny for talking to yourself, but give them something extra to laugh about around their bowls of dirt stew or whatever it is these dullards eat .”
    “Why must you be so cruel?” Willum asked.
    “ Ho-ho, am I not an imp ?” Theodore asked and Willum could picture the portly demon grinning and rubbing his hands devilishly.
    “You may be an imp, but you’re not evil,” Willum said. “I respect these farmers and you should too. They work hard to provide for their families and the fruits of their labor provide food for countless people.”
    The imp groaned. “ The point I am making, oh so noble Willy, is that the life these men lead is not for you. You aren’t some common man. You’re Willum Vriil. You are meant for bigger things. A life of excitement and adventure !”
    “Don’t call me that,” Willum said. “You know that’s not something I’m proud of.”
    “ Is that so? Funny how you’ve never mentioned it before ,” said the imp, his voice laden with sarcasm. “