Free Rush Limbaugh: An Army of One by Zev Chafets

monologues on the topical issues of the moment, full of demeaning nicknames (Ted Kennedy, for example, was “the swimmer”), wicked imitations and parodies, relentless mockery of the mainstream media, unabashed Republican partisanship, and a willingness to transgress almost every kind of political correctness. But, beyond this bag of tricks, there was a bedrock seriousness of belief that came not from his years on the road, but from his home in Cape Girardeau.
    In 1988, before coming to New York, Limbaugh published a column in the now-defunct Sacramento Union titled “35 Undeniable Truths.” It read like an eclectic and sometimes whimsical collection of axioms and pronouncements by Thomas Hobbes ( “War is not obsolete; ours is a world governed by the aggressive use of force” ); Howard Cosell ( “The greatest football team in the history of civilization is the Pittsburgh Steelers of 1975 - 1980; the L.A. Raiders will never be the team that they were when they called Oakland home” ); Billy Graham ( “There is a God; abortion is wrong; morality is not defined and cannot be defined by individual choice; evolution cannot explain Creation” ); John D. Rockefeller ( “There will always be poor people. This is not the fault of the rich” ); Norman Mailer ( “Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society” ); General George Patton ( “The US will again to war. There is no such thing as war atrocities. War itself is an atrocity. The only way to get rid of nuclear weapons is to use them” ); a high school history teacher ( “Abraham Lincoln saved this nation” ); Paul McCartney ( “Love is the only human emotion that cannot be controlled” ); and Thomas Jefferson ( “Freedom is God given” ).
    By far the greatest number of “undeniable truths” came from the anti-Communist dinner table rants of Big Rush: “The greatest threat to humanity lies in the nuclear arsenal of the USSR. The greatest threat to humanity lies in the USSR. Peace does not mean the elimination of nuclear weapons. Peace does not mean the absence of war. Peace can’t be achieved by developing an ‘understanding’ with the Russian people. When Americans oppose America, it is not always courageous and sacred; it is sometimes dangerous. Communism kills. In the USSR, peace means the absence of opposition. To free peoples, peace means the absence of threats and the presence of justice. The Peace Movement in the United States—whether by accident or design—is pro-Communist. The only difference between Mikhail Gorbachev and previous Soviet leaders is that Gorbachev is alive. Soviet leaders are just left-wing dictators. To more and more people, a victorious United States is a sinful United States. This is frightening and ominous. You should thank God for making you an American; and instead of feeling guilty about it, help spread our ideas worldwide.”
    And, as Big Rush certainly believed , “The collective knowledge and wisdom of seasoned citizens is the most valuable—yet untapped—resource our young people have.”
    Very few of Rush Limbaugh’s “truths” were the product of personal observation or experience. His life had been remarkably untouched by many of the affiliations and responsibilities of his generation. He had been a Cub Scout (under pressure) for one year and quit without earning a single merit badge. He was on the high school football team for a season and then dropped out. He spent one year in college, living at home. He never served in the army or the Peace Corps, had not traveled abroad (and, in fact, had only been in New York once, on a three-day business trip, before moving there), and did not belong to any church or clubs. He also had no children. Since his midteens he had spent his life in the circumscribed environment of top-40 AM radio, with a few years in the marketing department of the Royals. While he was in the studio, or at the ballpark, the world and the