Free The Perfect Marriage by Kimberla Lawson Roby Page B

it.
    “Mom, Daddy just went upstairs, and he’s so sad.”
    Denise faced her father. “Daddy, I have to go.”
    “That’s fine, but just remember what I said.”
    Denise hurried up to the master bedroom, and the first thing she saw was Derrek sitting on the side of the bed, weeping.
    She sat down and hugged him. “Honey, I know this is hard, and I’m so sorry.”
    “Baby…this…is…unbearable. It hurts so, so much.”
    “I know.”
    “Oh my God,” he said, letting her go. “I’ll never forgive myself for treating my brother so horribly.”
    Denise had known all along that this was the thought that had been eating away at Derrek.
    “Why couldn’t I have just answered the phone when he first started calling? And why didn’t he call me when he first learned
     about his cancer?”
    “I don’t know, honey, but at least you got to talk to him today. At least both of you apologized and forgave each other.”
    Derrek got up and went over to the window, looking out at the backyard. “But it wasn’t the same as if we’d made things right
     when he was well.”
    Denise walked up behind him. “Honey, why don’t you lie down? You really need to rest.”
    “I can’t. Baby, my brother is gone. He’s dead, and there’s nothing I can do about it. And you know what else?” he said, turning
     and looking at her. “I wish I were dead, too. A part of me is already gone, anyhow, so what difference will it make?”
    “Honey, please. You can’t mean that. What about Mackenzie and me?”
    Derrek quickly moved away from her. “I’m sorry, but I need to get out of here.”
    “To go where?”
    “I need this pain to go away.”
    “But leaving won’t help anything.”
    “Baby, I can’t handle this. I can’t go the rest of the night feeling like this. So, I’ll be back, okay?”
    Denise could see in his eyes what he was planning, and while she didn’t want Derrek knowing that she still used Vicodin and
     did cocaine, she knew she had to stop him from leaving the house. He was in no condition to drive, and what replayed over
     and over in her mind was his statement about wishing he were dead. She was pretty sure she knew him better than that—he clearly
     wasn’t the suicidal type—but she also knew he wasn’t himself right now. He wasn’t thinking logically, and she had to do something.
    “Baby, I know you’re upset, but I have everything you need right here.”
    Derrek glared at her. This made her prepare for the worst, but to her surprise, all he said was, “Coke?”
    “Yes.”
    “Where is it?”
    She was thankful she’d brought her new stash inside the house and had put it away before heading to the hospital. “In the
     lower right-hand drawer.”
    Derrek never said a word and calmly sat down in the high-back chair. Denise strolled over to the armoire and pulled out a
     sandwich-size baggie and passed it to him. He didn’t even ask for a straw to snort it with. He simply scooped out a tad of
     the powder with the tip of his finger, lifted it to his nose, and inhaled it. He did this twice, closed his eyes and leaned
     back into the chair. He acted as though he’d never felt better. He was happy, and that’s all Denise wanted.

Chapter 11
    A month had passed since the funeral and while Derrek had finally returned to work just a few days ago, he’d practically had
     to drag himself out of bed every day to go there. At first, he’d wondered if he’d ever feel well enough to go out of the house
     again, what with all the depression he’d been struggling with, but last week he’d decided it was best that he at least try
     to get back to some of his daily responsibilities. Still, though, with each passing hour he sometimes felt like dying, and
     he could now officially say that he’d never felt more hopeless. He just couldn’t shake his regretful feelings about Dixon
     or accept the fact that he simply hadn’t been there for his brother the way he should have. He’d severed ties with him