it, there was still a little glimmer of hope that it was all a false alarm. She could cling to that. The bloody test would only turn it into a stark reality. ‘Oh, come on,’ she muttered suddenly to herself. ‘Stop faffing about.’
‘You talking to me?’ asked Henry.
Felicity snatched up her bag and headed for the loo, leaving Henry looking baffled.
Five minutes later she was staring at it, gazing at the unmistakable blue line as though willing it not to be there. The instructions had even said you should use it first thing in the morning to get a clear result, but there could be nothing clearer than this. Of all pregnant women, Felicity felt she must be the most definitely pregnant ever. She closed her eyes and leant back against the tiled wall. This was the last thing in the world she needed or wanted. Just when everything had started to go right for her, when she had a good job where she was really making headway, earning enough to keep her and Vince while he did his knowledge, and to put money by for the day when he would get his own black cab, this had to happen. What would Vince say? Not that she was going to tell him. Not yet. Maybe not ever. She thought back to her schooldays, to false alarms, to old wives’ tales of drinking a bottle of gin in a hot bath, or jumping down six or seven stairs, or off a chair several times. And she knew in her heart that nothing like that would work for her. She couldn’t even hope for a miscarriage. Shewasn’t built that way. Her own mum had fallen pregnant five times, worked through every pregnancy, dropped ‘em like ripe fruit, no problems. She was the same. She was too robust, too clearly built by nature for childbearing for anything to go wrong.
She met her reflection in the mirror and saw that her eyes looked large with misery. She looked away. At that moment the door opened and Felicity quickly stuffed the tester into the sanitary disposal bin.
‘Hi,’ said Camilla. She glanced at Felicity. ‘You all right?’
If it had been just two or three hours later, if she’d had time to come to terms with the discovery that she was really and truly pregnant, Felicity might have been able to keep up a front. But the shock was such that she found herself saying, ‘I’ve just found out I’m pregnant.’
Camilla put her hand to her mouth. ‘Oh, Felicity.’ There was a silence, then Camilla said, ‘I think I can tell from your expression that I’m not meant to say ‘“congratulations”.’
‘Too bloody right you’re not.’ Without meaning to, Felicity began to cry, and Camilla put her arms around her and hugged her awkwardly.
‘What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know. I really don’t know,’ sobbed Felicity. After a few seconds the tears stopped. She sniffed, wiped her eyes and blotted at her running mascara with a tissue. ‘You won’t tell anyone in chambers, will you?’
‘Of
course
I won’t.’
‘It’s just - oh, God, it couldn’t come at a worse time.’ She shook her head. ‘Still, I’m not the first woman in theworld it’s happened to. I’ve just got to sit down and think it through.’
‘If there’s anything I can do—’ Camilla stopped, helpless. Of course, there was nothing she could do, except offer a shoulder to cry on. Felicity had to make her decisions on her own.
Felicity gave a watery smile. ‘Yeah, thanks. I’d better be getting back.’ And she slipped out. A few moments later, as Camilla was making her way back to her room, Henry called over to her, ‘That was Freshfields on the phone. They were so impressed by the job you did for them in June that they thought you might like a three-week jaunt to Bermuda.’
‘Three weeks!’ Camilla looked astonished. ‘What on earth for?’
‘They want you to attend some long hearing they’ve got starting out there. I told Jane Rice you’d ring her back.’
‘Right. I’ll go and do it. When do they want me to go?’
‘Next Monday. Don’t worry. Apart from two