Free Escaping Christmas (Contemporary Romance) by Charlotte Ashwood

don’t know what I would do. It would kill me.”
    “So you’re leaving him instead.”
    “I have no guarantee that he won’t leave me.”
    “There are no guarantees in life, Angie. It’s all a risk. Life is a risk, and it’s trusting people that helps us through. I know we got off to a bad start, but I’ve seen the effect you’ve had on Alex. I’ve never seen him this happy before. And look at you—you look terrible. It’s because you’re missing him, isn’t it?”
    Hussein spoke with an urgency that she suspected was foreign to him.
    “I do miss Alex, but you don’t understand.”
    “Then make me understand, Angie. You are destroying him, and I can’t just sit here and do nothing! What’s it going to take to get you to stay, dammit?”
    Angie shook her head mutely and forced back tears. She didn’t expect him to understand. She knew about risk and life and the pain, the hurt that went along with both. But she had lost too many people in her life. First her dad—even if she’d never known him—then her mom and finally Michael. She wasn’t prepared to go through that again. And she was not leaving Alex, not really. She just needed to disappear before they started anything too serious. The pain in her heart said that it was too late for that, but she refused to heed it.
    “Why are you doing this?” He was practically pleading now. “He’s not going to survive it if you leave. Alex is not like the guys you know, he has a sensitive soul and he loves deeply. How will you live with yourself knowing that you’re causing such devastation? Don’t you love him?”
    Angie stared at the man who looked so much like Alex and thought about his question. Did she love Alex? She loved him so much she had no idea how she was going to face the rest of her life without him. Dear Lord, just the thought of it was tearing her apart. She felt like her heart was splitting in two and there was nothing she could do about it. Suddenly the pain was too much for her. She doubled over and began to heave, dry sobs racking her body. This was ten, no, a hundred times worse than losing Michael. And this time around she had no one to blame but herself.
    She smelled the tangy scent of cologne before she felt Hussein’s strong arms around her. He held her as she wept as though her life was over. He murmured soft, comforting words until she finally stopped shaking.
    “Should I take you to him?” he asked softly, handing her a box of tissues.
    Angie just nodded and leaned against the seat, inhaling the scent of leather while he spoke into the receiver beside him. She was scared, and she still wasn’t sure if she could trust her judgment or her heart, but she trusted Alex totally. That would have to do for now, because the thought of losing him was no longer something she was willing to contemplate. Even if she had to beg and grovel, she would do whatever it took to get him to look at her the way he used to—like she was the only woman in his world.
    “I will leave you here.”
    Angie turned to Hussein in alarm. He had brought her all the way to Port Klang and led her onto a very beautiful sailboat, where he said Alex was hanging out. After her crying spell, he had entertained her with stories about him and Alex when they were younger. By the time they arrived at the wharf, she had come to the conclusion that Hussein Farhadi was not all that bad. He was still an arrogant playboy, but he had a lot of redeeming qualities. She faced him now, strangely nervous about the thought of facing Alex alone.
    “You won’t stay just a little while?”
    He shot her a wry smile and lifted a hand to tuck her hair behind her ears in a gesture so reminiscent of Alex that she caught her breath. “I think you will do better by yourself,” he said gently. “You should find him in the captain’s cabin below deck.”
    She gulped.
    “I’m sorry I said those things to you back there.” He nodded to where the limo was parked.
    She smiled wryly.