chastised.
âOh. He stayed with Kermit and Becky last night, and heâs with Kermit right now. This isnât ⦠Weâre not ending the relationship. Itâs just a break; weâre taking a break. The place in East Jordan is literally half a block from my job. Itâs nice. I walked to work this morning.â
âIs there somebodyâ¦?â
âNo, Ruddy. I havenât met anybody else,â she assured me firmly.
âThen donât do this,â I grated.
Katie stood up. âIâm really sorry, but I need to go. Iâm going to be late.â
âYou canât go . We need to talk about this!â I insisted.
âLet her leave, Ruddy. Sheâs feeling trapped, and this isnât helping,â Alan advised.
Katie was shrugging on her coat. âWe will talk more about it, Ruddy. Just not right now. I need time, I told you. Thatâs all this is about. Honest. Please.â
I sat up in the hospital bed, feeling ridiculous in the lightweight gown I was wearing. âIâll go with you.â
âWhat? No, Ruddy, you canât.â She checked her watch. âIâm meeting my new landlord. Iâm sorry. But we will talk, I promise.â
âDammit, Katie!â
âOh, thatâs great. Yell at her,â Alan jeered.
With a look that held far more sadness and regret than I thought was appropriate for a âbreakâ where we were ânot breaking up,â Katie grabbed her purse and rushed out the door, checking her watch again in the hallway.
âDonât say anything right now, Alan,â I warned him.
And, to his credit, he didnât.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
They kept me another night just to prove that they could, but Jimmy was there in the morning to pick me up. I was stiff, aching everywhere, and groaned aloud as I settled into his car.
Alan was asleep.
When he was gone those eighteen months, I felt his absence as a lack, as a hollow sensation. In a lot of ways it was what I went through when I lost my dadâthis odd, phantom-limb feeling that something was both there and not. Alanâs return was like an increase in air pressure, a weight inside my mindâand of course you couldnât get the guy to shut up. But this was something different than when heâd vanished, this sleepâthe feeling that he was there, but in a way that didnât register with the senses except as a dormant object. Heâd slept before, the first time heâd come to visit, so this, too, was something my subconscious might easily be inventing for its own amusement. I wanted my friend back, so he was back. Then I wanted him to take a break, like Katie wanted us to take a break, so he went to sleep.
I texted Katie to say Iâd been released.
Good, she responded. Weâll talk soon .
About what, our living apart? I didnât want to talk about that.
Jimmy was pensive as he drove us back to Kalkaska. I watched him wrestling with something, giving him time. Thatâs what you did with Jimmyâthere was no sense in trying to pull his thoughts out of the oven before they were fully baked. âI never have done this before, you know,â he finally remarked.
âDriven a car?â
He blinked at me. âNo. Ruddy, you taught me to drive.â
âI was kidding, Jimmy. Done what?â
âSlept with a married woman. I mean, yeah, Iâve slept with them, but never as more than just, you know.â
âI actually donât know.â
âI mean, just as a one-time thing. One night. Notâ¦â
âYouâve never had an extended extramarital affair,â I translated.
âExtended extramarital,â Jimmy repeated dubiously.
âWhy is it extended? I thought she said her husband would literally kill her if he found out. Thatâs hardly encouraging for long-term prospects.â
âYeah, about that.â
âWhat about that?â
âAlice says he