before?
That had to be it. Even though their breakup had been mutual, it was his career that necessitated it. He’d put baseball before her, before everything, even himself. In retrospect, that had to hurt.
Satisfied that he had figured the problem out, he focused on a solution. He needed to find a way to reassure her that his intentions were for the best. It was a challenge, but Connor wasn’t the kind of guy to shy away from difficulty.
Especially where Tracy was concerned.
—
She could hear the baby crying as soon as she pulled into her driveway.
The golden haze surrounding Tracy evaporated, and she quickly got out of the car and took the stairs two at a time. The door was locked, God bless her mother, so she had to fuss with the keys to get in.
“Mom?” she called, and her mother answered from the nursery.
“Up here.”
When she got to the bedroom, her mother was holding Lily, trying to comfort the screaming child. Her eyes met Tracy’s. “She went to sleep just fine, but woke about a half hour ago. She seemed a little warm to me, so I took her temperature. It’s a hundred and one.”
“I’ll get some baby Tylenol,” Tracy said calmly, but her stomach wrenched as she went to the medicine cabinet and found the red bottle. She filled the dropper, then returned to the baby and managed to insert the medication in her open mouth mid-scream.
Lily appeared startled, swallowed, and then began bawling all over again.
“I’ll take her,” Tracy said, extending her arms, but her mother shook her head.
“She’ll be fine. Why don’t you get changed, put on your pajamas, and I’ll get a damp compress? That will cool her off a little until the medicine takes effect.”
“Okay,” Tracy said in sincere appreciation as she headed for her bedroom. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that the universe was trying to tell her something.
She shouldn’t have gone out.
Her baby was ill while she was having a fling with Connor Jackson.
Even though it was only a low-grade fever, what if next time it was something more serious?
Slipping into her cotton pajama bottoms and T-shirt, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. The glamorous silk top lay tossed on a chair, along with the sexy underwear. She was back to herself.
The mother of four young children.
She couldn’t do this. Tracy sank down onto the bed, fighting the despair that filled her. She felt torn between her own needs as a woman and those of her kids.
And they had to be the priority.
She rose with an aching sense of loss.
As she re-entered the nursery, she was surprised to realize that Lily was no longer screaming bloody murder.
“Wow, that worked fast!” She looked on in admiration as her mother put aside the damp washcloth and smoothed a sheet over the baby.
“I guess I still remember a few things.” She grinned as Lily sucked her pacifier, much calmer and more comfortable. “I think she’ll sleep now.”
Tracy nodded as she closed the door, and peaceful silence ensued as they made their way down the steps to the living room.
“I shouldn’t be surprised she got sick; there was a cold going around school,” Tracy said thoughtfully. “Ethan and Mason had it for a few days. I guess it was just a matter of time before Lily got it.”
“Right. Not much you can do when they are all playing with the same toys.” Her mother sat down and put her feet up, and then smiled at Tracy. “So how was the date?”
“Great,” Tracy admitted. “It’s so weird, it’s like nothing has changed. Like I’m back in time with Connor Jackson.”
“So are you seeing him again?”
Tracy hesitated, and then shook her head. “No. I don’t think so. I mean, no.” She got to her feet, searching for the remote. “I mean, look what happened tonight? I was only gone a few hours, and the baby got sick!”
“She had a low-grade fever. I would’ve taken care of her.”
“I know. I don’t mean it that way. This is my life now. The children