Free Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren by Barbara Park

1 / Handsome Warren
    My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice.
    I just like B and that’s all.
    I am in the grade of kindergarten.
    My room is named Room Nine.
    I have two bestest friends at that place.
    One of them is named Lucille.
    She is way beautifuller than me. That’s because her nanna buys her fancy dresses. Plus also she has lacy socks with ribbons on them.
    My other friend is named Grace. Meand that Grace ride the school bus together.
    She has my favorite kind of hair. It is called
automatically curly
.
    Also, she has pink high tops. And fast feet.
    That Grace is the fastest runner in all of kindergarten.
    She wins me at all of our races.
    I am a good sport about it. Except for sometimes I call her the name of
cheater pants
.
    Me and that Grace and Lucille play horses together before school.
    Horses is when you gallop. And trot. And snort.
    I am Brownie. Lucille is Blackie. And that Grace is Yellowie.
    Only today, me and that Grace couldn’t find Lucille anywhere.
    We looked all over the place for her.
    “Darn it,” I said. “Now we can’t play horses that good. ’Cause two horses isn’t as fun as three horses.”
    “Maybe she’s just late,” said that Grace. “Or else maybe something went wrong at her house.”
    I tapped on my chin very thinking.
    “Yes,” I said. “Maybe her grampa brought a parrot to her house. And Lucille was getting dressed for school. And then the parrot flew into her room. And he got all tangled up in her hair. And so her grampa had to call 911. And a real live fireman came to her house. And he cut the parrot out of her hair with scissors. Only that left a teeny baldy spot. But guess what? If you wear a big bow, nobody can even tell the difference.”
    That Grace looked curious at my big bow.
    I did a gulp.
    “Yeah, only pretend I didn’t even tell you that,” I said very soft.
    After that, me and that Grace looked for Lucille some more.
    And guess what?
    I spotted her! That’s what!
    “HEY, GRACE! I SEE HER! I SEE LUCILLE! SHE IS RUNNING PAST THE WATER FOUNTAIN!”
    That Grace spotted her, too.
    “HEY! SOMEBODY’S CHASING HER, JUNIE B.!” she yelled. “WHO
IS
THAT BOY? WHO IS THAT BOY WHO IS CHASING LUCILLE?”
    I squinted my eyes very harder.
    “IT IS AN EVIL
STRANGER BOY
,GRACE!” I shouted back. “AN EVIL STRANGER BOY IS CHASING LUCILLE! AND SO NOW YOU AND ME WILL HAVE TO SAVE HER!”
    I waved my arm in a fast circle.
    “Come on, Yellowie! Let’s go! Let’s go save Lucille!”
    Then me and that Grace springed into action!
    We galloped our fastest after the stranger!
    That Grace caught up to him speedy quick.

    She shooed her arms all around.
    “GO AWAY, BOY! GO AWAY AND LEAVE LUCILLE ALONE!” she shouted.
    “YES!” I yelled. “LEAVE LUCILLE ALONE! OR I WILL TELL PRINCIPAL ON YOU! ’CAUSE ME AND HIM ARE PERSONAL FRIENDS. AND HEWILL POUND YOUR HEAD!”

    After that, me and that Grace kept on shooing our arms until he ran away.
    Then we did a high five.
    “HURRAY!” we shouted. “HURRAY! HURRAY! WE SAVED LUCILLE FROM THE EVIL STRANGER BOY!”
    All of a sudden, Lucille came stomping at us very angry.
    “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” she hollered. “WHY DID YOU CHASE THAT BOY AWAY? NOW YOU’VE RUINED
EVERYTHING!
”
    Me and that Grace looked surprised at her.
    “But we thought you
wanted
us to do that,” said that Grace.
    “We saved you from the evil strangerboy,” I explained very proud.
    Lucille did a mad breath.
    “He is
not
an evil stranger boy, Junie B.! He’s a new kid in Room Eight. And his name is Warren! And he’s the handsomest boy I ever saw! He’s even been in a
TV
commercial before!”
    Me and that Grace raised up our eyebrows.
    “He has?” said that Grace.
    “He’s been in a TV commercial before?” I said.
    That Grace stood on her tippy-toes.
    “Where did he go? I didn’t even get a good look at him,” she said.
    “Me too,” I said. “I didn’t get a good look at him, too. How