Free Meant to Be by Melody Carlson

not ask God to help you-to give you a reason to live? And consider this, you think life is bad now, what if you killed yourself and discovered that you made a huge mistake-a mistake that could never be undone? How miserable would you be then? Talk to a counselor or youth pastor or trusted friend. Tell them how you feel and get help now.
    Just Jamie
    Both of the writers of these letters go onto my evergrowing prayer list, but I underline Totally Hopeless s name, and I spend about ten minutes really praying for her/him. I wish I could send my answer directly instead of waiting for the paper to run it on Tuesday. But hopefully God will watch over this person until then. And hopefully my response will encourage this person to reconsider. I was tempted to write about people who are struggling just to live—like AIDS orphans in Africa or moms with cancer in the U.S.—but I figured that might only dilute the message. Still, I'm not sure.

Eight
Sunday, January 8
    The snow trip was totally awesome! I'm not even sure what the best part was. Our cabin counselor was Josh Miller's fiancee, Caitlin O'Conner, and she was really great. Talk about a role model—I seriously hope that I'll be just a little bit like her someday. I'd heard good things about her from Chloe, but for some reason I wasn't convinced.
    For one thing, she's really pretty. Now I realize that’ it's not fair, but sometimes I don't take really good-looking people too seriously. That's pretty judgmental on my part, but it's just how I am.
    Anyway, when I first met her, I kind of assumed that this attractive blue-eyed blond chick might be kind of an airhead. Don't ask me why. I mean, my best friend, Natalie, is a pretty blue-eyed blonde, and, well, to be totally honest, she can be a little fluffy sometimes. Evenso, I totally love her (just in case you're reading this, Nat, which you better not be!!!). And there's actually more to Nat than meets the eye likewise, I discovered that Caitlin has real depth to her too. For starters, she really loves God—like totally and wholeheartedly and would do anything for Him. And she also has a heart for children and is willing to be a foreign missionary. For years she's been involved with this mission in Mexico that runs an orphanage, and she told us she wouldn't mind spending her honeymoon there! She said since she and Josh had already planned to volunteer there this summer, it might be that's where they go after the wedding. Go figure.
    And it's not like Caitlin doesn't know how to have a good time. I mean, she totally enjoys life, she's in love with her fiance, and she really knows how to have fun. She was great at getting girls to open up during our cabin times. I guess I was one of the more quiet ones, since I still feel unsure about a lot of things.
    And it hasn't helped my confidence knowing that Natalie thinks I'm a “baby” Christian. So I kind of like to just keep my mouth shut when people are discussing “spiritual” things. Partly because I HATE looking stupid, and partly because I learn more by just listening. Even so, I had a couple of good one-on-one chats with Caitlin.
    “Chloe told me that you don't believe in dating,” I said to her as we shared a chairlift on Saturday morning.
    Caitlin laughed. “Word gets around, doesn't it?”
    “Well, I think you've inspired Cesar. You know he doesn't date either.”
    “Josh told me about that. And I have to respect him for it. It's not easy for a guy to make a commitment like that.”
    “So you really think it's wrong to date then?”
    She thought about this for a moment. “It's a totally individual thing, Kim. Something you have to figure out for yourself.”
    “So how did you figure it out?”
    “Well, I dated for a while in high school. I mean, not much really…it wasn't like I was going out all the time or anything like that. But there came a time when God made it crystal clear to me that it was wrong. At the time I thought that meant dating was wrong for