Free Saving Amy by Daphne Barak Page A

adding, ‘I understand that she doesn’t even have periods? Like many anorexics.’
    ‘Yes,’ Janis agrees, ‘but she has said that she has [had periods] recently. It is hard to know where Amy is coming from, because what she says is, “Mum, don’t worry. I have got this in hand and I have got that in hand”. [But] Alex will say, “Mum, she is not telling the truth.”’
    ‘But do you know she is not telling the truth?’ I say.
    ‘… Yes. She doesn’t want me to be troubled by it because I have got enough troubles. With Amy it is a case of we are living in “Amyland”. … It is very surreal. I certainly feel that way with her life. … [W]hen people say “Wow! Are you Amy’s Mum” and I say “Yeah, [but] she is just a regular person”. And she is. Family and friends will say, “That is Amy.” There is no surprise … she has always been that way. It is a case of “… what’s the fuss?” … They know Amy.’
    ‘It is one thing to be childish,’ I comment, ‘but hard drugs are something else.’
    ‘I think that is par for the course,’ Janis replies. ‘It is almost as if I am living her past experience. Yes, she is on the hard drugs. She is a Jazz Queen. She just does it all. … She would be upset if she thought I was upset.’
    ‘So, she doesn’t know that you and Mitch ARE upset?’ I repeat.
    ‘No.’
    ‘She thinks that you are happy?’ I persist.
    ‘Yes,’ she confirms. ‘[Amy] thinks that we are okay. … She doesn’t know the pain that she is causing us. But being us, [we] don’t want her to know of the pain we are experiencing, because we don’t want to upset her. And that is parenting, God bless it.’
    ‘It is very tricky being a parent’, I comment.
    ‘I couldn’t be taught it,’ Janis agrees. ‘I am the mother that I didn’t have and would have liked,’ she adds.
    This comment from Janis really strikes me as very interesting. In my experience, any parent who is asked if he or she has been a good father or a good mother, would, of course, like to respond ‘Yes’, but that person would also usually have some doubts (whether vocalized, or not) about that.
    With Janis though, there is no doubt in her mind. She is a great mother. And while, in many ways, I’m sure that she is a very good mother to her children, her lack of any doubt is, I have to say, in my experience quite unusual.

    As most of the media focussed on Amy’s problems, others, perhaps surprisingly, ignored them, stressing instead Amy’s edgy rock chick style. A source was reported to have told the Daily Mirror, for example, that American Vogue editor Anna Wintour had cried ‘get me Amy’ for the cover of the September 2007 issue as the musician oozed cool. Whenthat particular issue hit the newsstands, however, Sienna Miller graced its cover.
    Despite all this, and even after further cancelled concerts, Amy’s fans and many of her music peers made it clear that they still appreciated her talent. Amy received several nominations in 2007 for key music awards. Early in September of that year, she appeared at the Mercury Music Prize awards ceremony at London’s Grosvenor House in Mayfair, giving, by all accounts, a breathtaking performance of ‘Love Is A Losing Game’, accompanied by just an acoustic guitar. Nominated for the award, along with the likes of the Arctic Monkeys, Bat For Lashes and Dizzee Rascal, Amy lost to the Klaxons. Afterwards she announced to a London evening paper that she was well after her holiday with Blake and couldn’t see what all the fuss had been about.
    A few weeks later, on 19 September, she appeared at the MOBO (Music of Black Origin) Awards at the 02 Arena in London’s Greenwich. This time nominated for several awards, including Best R&B, Best Song (‘Rehab’) and Best Video (‘Back To Black’), Amy won the Best UK Female award. She also performed at the awards. Looking painfully thin, a seemingly distracted Amy sang out of time and stared into space, as she