Free Saving Amy by Daphne Barak

[I’m] going to pull her knickers down.”’
    Mitch says, ‘That is not how I was brought up to talk. I was brought up to love and cherish my wife, both of them and I wouldn’t talk like that in public about someone that I loved. He doesn’t love her because if he did he wouldn’t talk like that.’
    ‘Does Amy find it disrespectful?’ I ask him.
    ‘She will excuse him,’ Mitch replies. ‘She would say that he didn’t say it. That they made it up, but two newspapers independently said the same thing. It was in inverted commas, which means it is a quote and we all know he said it.’
    ‘But [maybe],’ I say, playing devil’s advocate, ‘… in his terminology it’s the way to say, “I love you.”’
    ‘Mmm …’, Mitch considers. ‘How’s this saying “I love you”? He called her a “crack whore”. Is that a different way of saying I love you? It’s the speak of somebody who’s got no self-respect and no respect for his wife – somebody you should love and cherish. We’ve all done things to our wives we shouldn’t have done – Janis and I are an example of that – but at no point have I shown her that disrespect and disregard. We all use different terminology, but this [shows] no respect for her; no respect for himself …
    ‘No, he doesn’t love her.’

alcoholic logic
    ‘Does Amy want to live?’, I ask Mitch.
    ‘To live? I think so,’ he says. ‘Nobody I have spoken to regarding her situation tells me that she is suicidal. She is always planning for the future.’
    So what is she doing then? I ask Mitch about this.
    ‘There are people that take drugs that are not suicidal,’ he replies. ‘… There have been people who have taken drugs for 40 years – people who you and I wouldn’t realize are taking drugs.’
    ‘Does she realize what she is doing?’ I say.
    ‘I don’t think she does.’
    ‘It must be the most frustrating position to be in your shoes,’ I comment. ‘You do realize what she is doing. You have a beautiful talented girl who is killing herself – [was] probably from the time we … started this interview. She is killing herself at this moment and it must be so frustrating for you.’

    After the Sanderson incident, all eyes were focussed on Amy, whose life was seemingly being played out in the public eye like a very tragic drama. Everyone had an opinion on Amy – her music; her marriage; her addictions; her behaviour. Friends and family urged Amy to go back into rehab. In late August 2007, however, several papers reported that Amy had claimed that Blake would commit suicide if she left him alone to return there.
    Amy’s mother, Janis, gave an interview to First magazine, in which she talked about Amy’s problems. She said, ‘I knew she was smoking marijuana but not that she was doing class A drugs until she collapsed. She won’t stop until she sees the point of stopping … when I saw her afterwards, I did not tell her to clean up. There was no point.’
    This attitude fits in with what Janis repeatedly tells me in our various discussions – it’s ‘tough love’ – ‘I cannot help you unless you help yourself’. But without a doubt, someone needs to help save Amy. And if it is not her mother, then who else is there?

    ‘Looking back … is there a moment when you think that either you or Mitch could have done something different?’ I ask Janis.
    ‘No!’ she says coldly. ‘… I am a believer … that we live the life that has been dealt to us. … because that is what makes us, us. … Amy’s experience of fame is like … “Wow!Could it be possible? Could I really, really be like that.” And, [I think] … scared her.’
    Dealing with success can be very scary, I comment, especially if you’re constantly questioning if it will continue.
    Janis agrees, ‘I think it is all about maturity.’ She adds that Amy is childish.
    ‘Her songs are very mature, but she is very childish, like “I don’t want to be a woman. …”’, I respond,