Free One Split Second by Gillian Crook Page B

Why I am so cynical—just wait and see… . I’m being unkind, I love em’ really!
    Barry and the kids had to go back to the hotel, so I said cheerio and gave them massive hugs (not Barry, of course, Shonah, his ‘girlfriend’ would have kittens instead of a baby), talking of which I wonder how the ‘girlfriend’ is doing… no doubt, blooming… blooming friggin devious. I swear she ‘trapped’ Barry into that situation, sorry god, if I am wrong—strike me down dead! Ouch, what was that? Nothing—I’m still alive and not burnt to a crisp! I know it takes two to tango, but one of the people ‘tangoing’ was supposed to be on the pill, and, according to Barry (oh goodness, I feel like I’m gossiping to my book), they don’t ‘do it’ that often… hee hee (miaow) . . . so, he must have been ‘firing on all cylinders’ the day that happened… . My words, by the way, not his!!
     

Sunday 11th October 
    Woke up feeling good… feeling goood… feeling sore, but feeling goood… if I saw the kids walking in every day, every day would be a case of feeling good!! Barry was there too, of course! Actually me and Barry seem quite close at the moment, and I don’t think the family understand? As you’ve probably guessed, the family and Barry tend to ‘clash’ at times—they’re all bossy and always have to be right! Then talk of the devil, and, yes literally she’s ‘sure to appear’ well, walk in… maybe not quite Lucy-ifer, but close… and, mum was there too. It was soo great to have them all with me, (and I honestly mean that—when they’re not nit-picking with each other), but I get really tired and sometimes I wander off and start talking about something totally different to what we are talking about at the time, then sometimes I get dizzy and I feel like I’m on that ceiling again, like it felt in Derriford, or when I think I’m lying flat when I’m sitting up, or when I start to slide sideways when I’m lying flat… . back to reality… I had to say goodbye to Barry and the kids cause they had to go. Oh, I hate the thought of them having to travel all the way back to Berrytown, not knowing when I am going to see them again! In a way it’s good that I’ve got mum and Paula here to keep my crazy mind occupied. Had some tea with mum and Paula and then they had to leave… I must have been tired because I started drifting on and off… .
    . . . I feel like I haven’t written this book properly for at least ‘God knows’ how many weeks… weeks? (exaggeration?) I have been through absolute hell… my body, what’s left of it to feel, is sore, beaten, bruised, and broken and the mind is on another planet at times and not always a very nice planet, actually one that you could only imagine in your worst nightmares.
    The part of my body that doesn’t function any more, still gets so painful and it sometimes twitches and my legs jump up, this is spasms apparently, (poor kids thought that my legs were moving like normal legs, and at first I did to). I wanted to know more about these spasms because it wasn’t fair on the kids to let them keep thinking my legs are moving by themselves, so when I asked the doctor I was told (I hope I copied this down right). ‘Neuropathy’ means disease of the nerve endings, which by adding to the paralysis from the severed spine, can lead to a ‘pins and needles’ effect to the legs and torso area which causes the legs to twitch, jump and shake, sometimes uncontrollably. In time they can sort out the medication that suits the specific person, but spasms can differ from one person to another. Quite often though, there is no explanation for neuropathy pain, but I hope the bloody medication they’ve given me works, because these ‘spasms’ are sooo sore. It’s like cramps that you get at the back of your legs and feet, but these ‘cramps’ are through the whole body. Also, the tightness around my ribs where that imaginary corset is, makes me feel