You should be hanging around with kids your own age.”
“You’re not
exactly a grandpa. What are you, like, thirty?”
“Twenty-nine.
Nick’s thirty.”
“Time to stop
behaving like children then.” I kiss his jaw, his earlobe. My lips
trail over his throat, sucking and nipping at his skin. Standing on
my tiptoes, I pull his face to mine, kissing him hard. I weave my
fingers into his hair and lock them behind his neck, feeling a low
vibration of approval as I do. I push my breasts against him,
feeling them swell as his hands slide from the tree to my ribs. I
push my crotch against him, rubbing. He groans with pleasure before
lifting my chin and taking possession of my mouth again. I want
him. I want him so much.
Then he pulls
away. “Jesus, Sadie.”
“What?” My
lungs are gasping for air. His air.
“Stop. If you
don’t I’m going to fuck you, right here against the tree. Now.”
And that would
be such a bad thing? Right about now, I’m thinking, no.
“Then do it.”
I kiss him again. I thrust myself wantonly against him.
Joel clasps my
hands firmly to my side. “I mean it. I won’t be able to control
myself if you keep that up.”
“I don’t want
you to. Kiss me. Kiss me again.”
He shakes his
head in dismay. “Oh, fuck it,” he groans, before shoving his tongue
down my throat again. Clinging to him, I wrap my legs around his
body. I can feel his toned muscles beneath my thighs and I want to
be below him. I want to feel all of him.
And at that
precise moment, Nicholas comes jogging along the path, causing Joel
to practically drop me in the sand. Talk about hurtle me into
reality.
“So. I guess
you’re over your fainting episode?”
Nicholas’ face
is like thunder. His eyes are stormy with anger and his fists are
clenching in and out as if he wants to punch something. I hope it’s
only the tree.
I don’t know
what to say. There is nothing I can do to undo what he’s witnessed,
nothing I can say that will make it right. I hang my head in shame
and disgust. I am behaving like some slutty sort of trollop,
pashing every guy in the bay just for the fun of it. Seeing how
many blokes I can kiss in one night. He has every right to be
cross. They both do.
But I’m not
like that. I don’t do that. I’ve always been the monogamous
type. Okay, so my experiences haven’t exactly led me to a point
like this before but even when I’ve had a boyfriend I’ve never felt
the urge to go around kissing other boys at the same time. It’s
these two. They’re messing with my brain. They’re making me want
them both which I know is totally wrong and yet I don’t care.
This is bad.
Very bad.
“I thought we
had something going, Sadie.” Nicholas sounds hurt. “When you kissed
me back there, I—”
Joel’s eyes
spark. Even in the dark I can feel his anger. “You kissed Nick
too?”
And before I
know what’s happened, Joel has launched himself at Nicholas and
they’re scrabbling about in the dirt. Nicholas has punched Joel on
the side of his jaw and Joel has countered with a swift knee into
Nicholas’ stomach and a jab to his ribs.
Oh shit. Bad. Reaaalllly bad.
“No, no. Stop,
please stop,” I scream. “Don’t fight, please don’t.” Unable to come
up with a better solution, I lurch myself between their bodies and
yank at their shirts, trying to pull them apart. God, we must look
ridiculous, rolling about like we’ve gone for a swim in a vat of
alcohol. But my plan works. They stop. We flop to our backs all
three of us staring silently, angrily into the starry sky.
“I thought you
liked me,” Nicholas says. He’s still panting from the exertion.
“I do.”
“What about
me?” Joel says.
Oh fuck.
“I like you
both.” My voice is small. I sound pathetic, I know I do but I have
no other defence. “Please don’t fight. I don’t want you to be angry
or hate each other. This is my fault completely. I don’t know what
happened. It’s just that, well, you’re both so