Free A SEAL's Heart by Nikki Winter

swear–”
              “You might as well stop, Fitz, because right about now your promises mean shit.”
              Zuly? Oh, God, Zuly!
              Jerking upwards, his eyes squinted on the figure sitting on the far side of the room and realized it was nowhere near daylight out but that she had all the lights turned on in his suite. His suite that was now spotless...
              She didn’t even lift her head from the magazine in her hands, just turned the pages with an easy demeanor that completely belied the frustration rolling off her.
              “Z–”
              “Do you really wanna do this now?” Zuly questioned, cutting in calmly. “ Right now?” Those pages kept turning.
              He didn’t know what bothered him more--the fact she wouldn’t look at him or the fact her voice had yet to surpass a whisper. Standing, Fitz pushed his hair back from his forehead before scratching his jaw. “How long have I, uh...” He gestured to the couch.
              “Not that long.” She answered his incomplete question. “About six hours at the most.”
              He nodded, awkwardly searching for his next words. Where did he go from here? He’d confessed the one thing he’d been holding onto for years, and then he disappeared just to end up calling her to clean up his shit. How had she notslit his throat and dumped him by now?
              Nights ago, he’d walked until he was tired, until the sound of his brother crashing through his parents’ coffee table had been enough to drive him to the brink of insanity. Calling a cabbie had been his only option because he could not go home and he couldn’t call Zuly. Or at least he felt like he couldn’t. Leaving town to escape his family was a sensible option at the time, and when he’d checked in at the hotel he hadn’t expected the manager–a fellow veteran–to comp his room for a week-long stay, but it had been much appreciated. The first day went by without him touching a drink. As did the second day. By the third, he called himself all kinds of coward as he found a corner store and hauled back a case of beer along with Jack and vodka.
              Inevitably guilt from breaking his promise began to gnaw at him. Guilt from his family’s pain. Guilt from the look on Zuly’s face when he left her. What could he do but call? He should’ve known she’d come. She always came.
              “You may want to shower,” Zuly suggested mildly as she stood and set down that magazine. “Housekeeping brought by fresh toiletries, and room service should be up with dinner in a bit.” Walking past him as though he weren’t there, she grabbed her jacket and bag. “Ordered something light for you since I wasn’t exactly sure what your stomach may or may not be able to handle.”
              She reached the door, opening it, and Fitz moved as fast as possible to close it, pinning her between himself and the heavy wood. “Stay.” It wasn’t a request. Couldn’t have even been called a plea. But something instinctively told him that if he let Zuly walk away from him again, things would change forever in a way that would break his already fractured spirit.
              “Give me a reason,” she whispered. “Give me a good reason.”
              He dropped his forehead to her hair and did something he swore he would never do. Fitz admitted the truth. “I need you.”
              Silence.
              “I need you, Zuly. I can’t help but to feel like something precious is slipping through my fingers right now, and I’m trying to grasp it so if you love me at all–”
              “ If I love you?”
              So that had been the wrong thing to say if the low growl that left her was any indication.
              “Fitzgerald Carrigan, I stand on the rock of my Lord and Savior when I say I am