Free Broken by Stella Noir, Aria Frost Page B

giving us an up close and personal view of his injuries. When he realises - I wince a little, whistling air sharply in through my mouth - he quickly puts them back on again with an apology. “I’ve been meaning to get the brakes fixed for a while. Plus I’m a little out of practise. It’s ok though, I’m fine.”
    The session passes quickly. Paul talks about his theatre production and is over the moon when Ethan says that we have decided to go along and support him. He even has the tickets with him to sell.
    Emily is disappointed she can’t make it, but both Patricia and Carmen agree to come along too after a little bit of jovial peer pressure.
    Ethan talks about his training plans for the new year, speaking earnestly about what he wants to achieve, and I talk about vacation plans to Cincinnati to be with my parents and how much I’m actually dreading it.
    I’m not looking forward to the Christmas break at all. I’m dreading the forced celebrations with family and old school friends, the inability to have my own space and lose myself in it, the unavoidable talks about my court case, and more than anything else, and I know it sounds stupid to say, but the time away from this group.
    I’m fond of everyone in here, of Patricia's candid remarks, of Paul’s mood swings, of Emily’s idiosyncrasies, Katy’s comforting tone, and Ethan’s calming presence. It’s Ethan I feel like I’m going to miss the most. I have a fear that I’m going to lose him. That when I come back from Christmas, Ethan will be gone and I won’t have anything else to look forward to.
    We leave the group together, say goodbye to the other members and trudge through the cold up to the point where I go one way and Ethan, the other.
    “I think Paul’s excited”, I say.
    “I know, right?” Ethan responds. “I wonder how terrible it’s going to be.”
    “I’m glad you came today”, I say, turning at the same time he does, so we walk for a moment looking at each other.
    “I told you I wasn’t going to miss it”, he says. “It’s my favorite part of the week.”
    “Mine too”, I say, without hesitation. After a while I add, “You know, there’s no reason why we can’t meet outside of the group. I mean, I guess we all live quite close together.”
    “That would be nice”, Ethan says, but I don’t know whether he’s just being polite.
    We walk a little bit further without either one of us saying anything else.
    “What will you do for Christmas?”, I finally ask.
    “I hadn’t even thought about it”, Ethan says. “Just getting by is as much as I can cope with at the moment. You know, Alice not being here and stuff, I don’t really feel like celebrating. Martin may have something planned, but, I don’t know, it doesn’t feel right somehow.”
    We pause at the intersection, cold biting at us. I can see the air condensing in front of me, and the day already falling away over the buildings to the skyline beyond.
    I feel sad again, as though something good is coming to an end. As though there is something I want to say but can’t, as though I have a network of conflicting feelings and emotions going on inside me.
    “Alice would have liked you”, Ethan says, kind of out of nowhere. “You’re a good person. You’re kind and thoughtful. It’s a shame she’s not here so you two can meet.”
    “I would have liked that”, I say.
    “Do you have a phone?” Ethan asks, and the question is so unexpected, it kind of confuses me for a moment.
    “A phone?”, I ask.
    “Yeah”, Ethan says in his inimitable way. “Unless you want me to knock on every door in Pittsburgh to find you.”
    I smile. “You’d do that for me?!”
    “I might”, Ethan says. “I can be quite dedicated when I want to be.”
    I take out my phone and we swap numbers. This is a normal thing that new friends do, so i’m not entirely sure why it feels like I’m doing something wrong, or exciting or unexpected. Ethan drops his phone back into his